Thursday, August 30, 2007
Musings of a naija artiste after rehearsals...
*Watched a Jim Iyke/Rita Dominic movie in which the scion of a rich family married a poor girl against the wishes of his family. They were happy in love, then he lost his sight in a kitchen fire accident that blinded him without scorching his features.
Then, she, who had been there for him through thick and thin, fell in love with another. Then he regained his sight. Then he found out she was cheating. Then his parents came back and said "We told you so". Then he knelt and begged for their forgiveness.
I could have cried. For wasting my own time.
*I was invited to the 80 year old Yoruba Lawn Tennis Club by a Judge of the High Court of Lagos State last night. We sat, we spoke, he's quite literary. All over the club, a grey haired cardiologist, an obstetrician, some living legend, pipe in mouth, puffing quietly, contemplating past years, thinking of the future...
I asked, why a name like that, "The Yoruba Tennis Club", seemingly tribal in all things. The judge said, "80 years ago, the Lagos Lawn Tennis Club was formed and membership was restricted to the white colonialists. The Yoruba Tennis Club was a direct answer to the segregation of that other club."
Someday, I'll tell my kids, "I shared food from the same plate with a judge. Can you beat that?"
*My theory- If you want to be remembered after you're gone, write a good book.
This came in from Chude...
RUBBING MINDS GETS RELOADED!
On the 9th of September 2007, Nigeria ’s premier news TV Station, Channels Television and leading marketing communications firm for young people, RedSTRAT (organizers of “The Future…” Awards) will be presenting to the nation a brand new version of the quarterly event, Rubbing Minds.
In its second year now, Rubbing Minds prides itself as the only event of its kind in the country. Designed in the fine tradition of modern ‘town-hall’ meetings, it has quickly distinguished itself as the only avenue for young people from a vast cross-section to discuss issues around the social, economic and political, as well as to network and synergise.
Read more on Chude's...
RUBBING MINDS GETS RELOADED!
On the 9th of September 2007, Nigeria ’s premier news TV Station, Channels Television and leading marketing communications firm for young people, RedSTRAT (organizers of “The Future…” Awards) will be presenting to the nation a brand new version of the quarterly event, Rubbing Minds.
In its second year now, Rubbing Minds prides itself as the only event of its kind in the country. Designed in the fine tradition of modern ‘town-hall’ meetings, it has quickly distinguished itself as the only avenue for young people from a vast cross-section to discuss issues around the social, economic and political, as well as to network and synergise.
Read more on Chude's...
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Theatre@Terra continues every Sunday at Terra Kulture, Tiamiyu Savage Street, Victoria Island, Lagos.
Sunday the 2nd of September will feature the stage satire, "Who's Afraid Of Wole Soyinka?" at 3pm and 6pm.
In October through December, 4 of the biggest playwrights Nigeria has ever produced, will have their plays featured at Terra.
A preview of next Sunday's "Who's Afraid..." featuring Sulaiman Fantula, Segun Ogundipe and Lekan "Dutchmark" Fehintola can be viewed here.
Sunday the 2nd of September will feature the stage satire, "Who's Afraid Of Wole Soyinka?" at 3pm and 6pm.
In October through December, 4 of the biggest playwrights Nigeria has ever produced, will have their plays featured at Terra.
A preview of next Sunday's "Who's Afraid..." featuring Sulaiman Fantula, Segun Ogundipe and Lekan "Dutchmark" Fehintola can be viewed here.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Went to the Muson Centre yesterday to see a stage production of Professor Femi Osofisan's "Midnight Blackout" as directed by Sunkanmi Adebayo.
It had the singer & actor, Yinka Davies as well as Ego (Lagbaja's former back-up singer) as part of the members of cast.
In the photos, laspapi and Yinka Davies, and then other members of my cast and crew who came to watch the show as well.
Funmilola Iyanda's birthday party held at "Reeds", Awolowo Rd, Ikoyi, on the night of the 27th of July. Guests numbering about 30 gathered to celebrate a loyal friend and Nigeria's day-time 'Queen of the Screen' and then went dancing after.
In the pictures-
a)Funmi talks to the Sports Administrator, Segun Odegbami and the legal practitioner, Jide Bello.
b) Denrele Edun, the Television presenter of Sound City (nearest to camera) sits with Bill and another
c) Some artiste at the restaurant tried his hand at a water-melon rose.
d) This snazzy fellow turned heads when he entered.
The Girl Whisperer
as published in the Sunday Guardian
of August 26
Should Love wear glasses?
My friend was getting ready to marry, detailed plans in an advanced stage being made to make the ceremony itself a success, every girl’s dream, and then one day she thought to compare notes with this man that suited her in so many ways. One little problem…they both had the sickle cell trait, not enough to hinder them from living very healthy lives as individuals and as a couple, but enough to affect their children yet unborn.
In the minds of a lot of people and with very good reason, people bearing the sickle cell trait must never share genes. Their children, if unfortunate to inherit sickle cell genes from both parents, sometimes suffer horrendously and joy may be marred by the pain that follows such children. So, when an African is born with the faintest traces of the sickle cell (It doesn’t affect Caucasians), this person often marries another without any such traits. Common sense. But isn’t this the same thing as someone loving with the head and not the heart? Should love scrutinize, wear magnifying glasses, inspect a potential suitor? Should passion ask questions, not allowing itself to be swept by the tide of sheer pleasure at being in the presence of another?
Not so long ago, in the Nigerian society, it was common for each family to have a sleuth, an informal detective, whether male or female, sent out to inspect the family tree of any potential suitor. This person would travel long distances to the home of the suitor, asking questions of those whom knew the family. It was important that the family seeking to be engrafted unto theirs, wasn’t related to them in some way, didn’t have men that died young, or had a history of mental illness. Extreme? Such examinations were considered natural. Others might have considered it a way of keeping the stock “pure”.
I heard from a female friend many years ago that men in their village never took a wife from her family. It had something to do with an act committed by her great-grandfather which the community never forgot. Females amongst her relatives had to find spouses and partners far away from home.
These days, except in families where there are older people who hold on to those customs and insist, these matters are overlooked. People randomly meet others at clubs, supermarkets, in minor car collisions (that happened to me), on the internet and then start relationships, unaware that sometimes, the bottoms of the most placid lakes are homes to reptilian creatures. There are many dangers when we do not open our eyes to warning signals. This equivalent of a background check in a serious relationship (to be distinguished from malevolent snooping) should not be brushed aside without consideration. It might save all the parties involved, a lot of grief and pain in the end.
Clinical psychologists say there is a chance that schizophrenia is sometimes passed on to children. I was informed of a female recently who had no idea her husband (born into a prominent family) had a record of mental illness and had been institutionalised until they’d been married two years. When he lost his reason again, she ran to her mother-in-law who told her without blinking that she had to "accept her lot".
This piece should not be mistaken for one that stigmatises. The point to note instead is that there should be full disclosure to the other party on all issues or the relationship is based on fraud.
There are people who understate the problems they might have- their physical. emotional and mental states, their inability to function in a world that is going at full tilt. A relationship not based on disclosure is one that will not last the course.
It is a good idea to wear glasses sometimes in matters of the heart, to pay close attention to the set-up you’re being invited to join. When the euphoria dies and you’re left with the business of living, what will keep you going is the fact that you know almost all you need to know about your partner and that there can be no surprises.
as published in the Sunday Guardian
of August 26
Should Love wear glasses?
My friend was getting ready to marry, detailed plans in an advanced stage being made to make the ceremony itself a success, every girl’s dream, and then one day she thought to compare notes with this man that suited her in so many ways. One little problem…they both had the sickle cell trait, not enough to hinder them from living very healthy lives as individuals and as a couple, but enough to affect their children yet unborn.
In the minds of a lot of people and with very good reason, people bearing the sickle cell trait must never share genes. Their children, if unfortunate to inherit sickle cell genes from both parents, sometimes suffer horrendously and joy may be marred by the pain that follows such children. So, when an African is born with the faintest traces of the sickle cell (It doesn’t affect Caucasians), this person often marries another without any such traits. Common sense. But isn’t this the same thing as someone loving with the head and not the heart? Should love scrutinize, wear magnifying glasses, inspect a potential suitor? Should passion ask questions, not allowing itself to be swept by the tide of sheer pleasure at being in the presence of another?
Not so long ago, in the Nigerian society, it was common for each family to have a sleuth, an informal detective, whether male or female, sent out to inspect the family tree of any potential suitor. This person would travel long distances to the home of the suitor, asking questions of those whom knew the family. It was important that the family seeking to be engrafted unto theirs, wasn’t related to them in some way, didn’t have men that died young, or had a history of mental illness. Extreme? Such examinations were considered natural. Others might have considered it a way of keeping the stock “pure”.
I heard from a female friend many years ago that men in their village never took a wife from her family. It had something to do with an act committed by her great-grandfather which the community never forgot. Females amongst her relatives had to find spouses and partners far away from home.
These days, except in families where there are older people who hold on to those customs and insist, these matters are overlooked. People randomly meet others at clubs, supermarkets, in minor car collisions (that happened to me), on the internet and then start relationships, unaware that sometimes, the bottoms of the most placid lakes are homes to reptilian creatures. There are many dangers when we do not open our eyes to warning signals. This equivalent of a background check in a serious relationship (to be distinguished from malevolent snooping) should not be brushed aside without consideration. It might save all the parties involved, a lot of grief and pain in the end.
Clinical psychologists say there is a chance that schizophrenia is sometimes passed on to children. I was informed of a female recently who had no idea her husband (born into a prominent family) had a record of mental illness and had been institutionalised until they’d been married two years. When he lost his reason again, she ran to her mother-in-law who told her without blinking that she had to "accept her lot".
This piece should not be mistaken for one that stigmatises. The point to note instead is that there should be full disclosure to the other party on all issues or the relationship is based on fraud.
There are people who understate the problems they might have- their physical. emotional and mental states, their inability to function in a world that is going at full tilt. A relationship not based on disclosure is one that will not last the course.
It is a good idea to wear glasses sometimes in matters of the heart, to pay close attention to the set-up you’re being invited to join. When the euphoria dies and you’re left with the business of living, what will keep you going is the fact that you know almost all you need to know about your partner and that there can be no surprises.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Ebun Olatoye of True Love magazine has been giving me marketing classes. I placed a 2-minute video of The Jero Plays on youtube. If you hear traffic as background noise, it's meant to be there. I was trying to give the video a "cityfeel". The Jero plays will be staged at Terra Kulture, Victoria Island, on Sunday the 26th of August.
Olarotimi Michaels plays the part of Jeroboam. Watch on Youtube.
Olarotimi Michaels plays the part of Jeroboam. Watch on Youtube.
A Doctor's Open Letter
This was sent round by Dr. Bose Afolabi. The last time laspapi donated blood was last year. Time again to leave no man behind.
Hello,
Please help me save lives.
How?
By donating blood.
Why?
Because people are dying daily from unavailability of
blood. And it is not for want of our trying.
A high percentage of maternal deaths (i.e. death
during pregnancy and childbirth) is as a result of
bleeding that could easily have been treated by prompt
blood transfusion. Just last weekend, I had 2 very ill
women who needed blood, whose blood group was not
available in the hospital. It was only by the
vigilance of the head of haematology (blood services)
who called all over the state to get blood that these
women's lives were saved. I have hundreds more of such
stories of women who were not so lucky.
How can you help?
Please make a date to come and give blood. A healthy
adult can give a pint of blood (500ml or one third of
a big bottle of Eva water) every 6 months with no
problems whatsoever.
Also, please mobilise friends, family, employees,
colleagues, church members, mosque members, etc to
donate now AND REGULARLY. The muslim associations in
the Luth community are excellent and donate blood on a
regular basis.
Will it disturb your schedule and is it safe?
It takes less than 45 minutes and is also done on a
Saturday. The hours are Monday - Saturday 8am to 6pm,
Blood Bank Lagos University Teaching Hospital,
Idi-Araba, Lagos. If you can organise more than 10
people in your location, arrangements can be made for
people to come out to your office, etc.
I gave blood on Wednesday the 22nd and i went on to
continue working for the rest of the day. You need to
drink a lot of fluid after and refrain from strenous
exercise or activity. The only discomfort is the
slight pain from an initial finger prick (to ascertain
you have enough blood in you) and the needle that goes
into you to take the blood. I am sure you will agree
that the benefits far outweigh the inconvenience.
Sorry about the long email but please give your blood
and save lives. Because you can.
Dr Bosede B Afolabi
Consultant/Senior Lecturer
Department of Obstetrics & Gynaecology
College of Medicine/Lagos University Teaching Hospital
Lagos, Nigeria.
This was sent round by Dr. Bose Afolabi. The last time laspapi donated blood was last year. Time again to leave no man behind.
Hello,
Please help me save lives.
How?
By donating blood.
Why?
Because people are dying daily from unavailability of
blood. And it is not for want of our trying.
A high percentage of maternal deaths (i.e. death
during pregnancy and childbirth) is as a result of
bleeding that could easily have been treated by prompt
blood transfusion. Just last weekend, I had 2 very ill
women who needed blood, whose blood group was not
available in the hospital. It was only by the
vigilance of the head of haematology (blood services)
who called all over the state to get blood that these
women's lives were saved. I have hundreds more of such
stories of women who were not so lucky.
How can you help?
Please make a date to come and give blood. A healthy
adult can give a pint of blood (500ml or one third of
a big bottle of Eva water) every 6 months with no
problems whatsoever.
Also, please mobilise friends, family, employees,
colleagues, church members, mosque members, etc to
donate now AND REGULARLY. The muslim associations in
the Luth community are excellent and donate blood on a
regular basis.
Will it disturb your schedule and is it safe?
It takes less than 45 minutes and is also done on a
Saturday. The hours are Monday - Saturday 8am to 6pm,
Blood Bank Lagos University Teaching Hospital,
Idi-Araba, Lagos. If you can organise more than 10
people in your location, arrangements can be made for
people to come out to your office, etc.
I gave blood on Wednesday the 22nd and i went on to
continue working for the rest of the day. You need to
drink a lot of fluid after and refrain from strenous
exercise or activity. The only discomfort is the
slight pain from an initial finger prick (to ascertain
you have enough blood in you) and the needle that goes
into you to take the blood. I am sure you will agree
that the benefits far outweigh the inconvenience.
Sorry about the long email but please give your blood
and save lives. Because you can.
Dr Bosede B Afolabi
Consultant/Senior Lecturer
Department of Obstetrics & Gynaecology
College of Medicine/Lagos University Teaching Hospital
Lagos, Nigeria.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Professor Wole Soyinka's The Jero Plays will be staged again at Terra Kulture, Victoria Island, on Sunday the 26th of August at 3pm and 6pm as the project, Theatre@Terra gathers steam.
The following plays are planned for all the Sundays in September.
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 2
Who’s Afraid of Wole Soyinka?
Written by Wole Oguntokun & Directed by Gbenga Adekanmbi
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 9
Sizwe Bansi is Dead
Written by Athol Fugard and directed by Sunkanmi Adebayo
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 16
Crown Troupe Of Africa’s “Exodus” & “Monkey Post”
Directed by Segun Adefila
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 23
Prison Chronicles
Written & Directed by Wole Oguntokun
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 30
The Sound & The Fury
Written by Wole Oguntokun & Directed by Jennifer Osammor
Venue: Terra Kulture, Tiamiyu Savage St, Victoria Island, Lagos
Time: 3pm and 6pm (Every Sunday in September)
Tickets: N2000 / Students with I.D. N1500
Theatre@Terra is produced by Wole Oguntokun
Musings of a naija countryman
I have to start calculating earnings and expenditure in U$D now. They say sometime next year, Charles Soludo, the Central Bank Boss (our own Alan Greenspan) will re-evaluate our currency and the naira will change at $1.25 to N1 instead of the N125 to $1 at present. Somewhere in the back of the minds of most home-based Nigerians is the thought that we'll all become millionaires in dollars. I need an economist to break this down for me.
Multichoice/DSTV and Hi-TV.
I've been had. Middleclass Nigerians hustle for a few things to make life worth the hassle- A good apartment, a car or two, A generator for electricity, broadband internet connectivity and then cable TV. In Nigeria, we are exploited by many people- N16,000 monthly to Starcomms for broadband that has nothing broad about it and N9000 monthly for cable. For three years now, I'd been paying Multi-Choice, the South African-owned Cable TV Monolith, N9000 for the full bouquet which includes all of England's Premiership football. Near the beginning of each football season (August), I'd pay 4 or 5 months in advance. This was the case this year, I'd payed 4 months in advance at the end of June, and then found out that the company had lost 80% of the rights they once held to show football matches. They said nothing to us, allowed us pay, and then nothing on the first day of the Premiership, with 14 teams out of 20, playing.
A Nigerian Company, Hi-TV had paid more than Multichoice for the rights to show the football matches despite the South Africans claim they had upped their bid the previous year by 400%.
Like all football addicts here, in between cussing out Multichoice, I'm contemplating the foolish- add a Hi TV decoder? Its cheaper than Multichoice (which actually has more non-football content), but what happens next year when they have to bid again? What if a 3rd company outbids them both? A 3rd decoder? Can someone bring pay per view to Nigeria?
I have to start calculating earnings and expenditure in U$D now. They say sometime next year, Charles Soludo, the Central Bank Boss (our own Alan Greenspan) will re-evaluate our currency and the naira will change at $1.25 to N1 instead of the N125 to $1 at present. Somewhere in the back of the minds of most home-based Nigerians is the thought that we'll all become millionaires in dollars. I need an economist to break this down for me.
Multichoice/DSTV and Hi-TV.
I've been had. Middleclass Nigerians hustle for a few things to make life worth the hassle- A good apartment, a car or two, A generator for electricity, broadband internet connectivity and then cable TV. In Nigeria, we are exploited by many people- N16,000 monthly to Starcomms for broadband that has nothing broad about it and N9000 monthly for cable. For three years now, I'd been paying Multi-Choice, the South African-owned Cable TV Monolith, N9000 for the full bouquet which includes all of England's Premiership football. Near the beginning of each football season (August), I'd pay 4 or 5 months in advance. This was the case this year, I'd payed 4 months in advance at the end of June, and then found out that the company had lost 80% of the rights they once held to show football matches. They said nothing to us, allowed us pay, and then nothing on the first day of the Premiership, with 14 teams out of 20, playing.
A Nigerian Company, Hi-TV had paid more than Multichoice for the rights to show the football matches despite the South Africans claim they had upped their bid the previous year by 400%.
Like all football addicts here, in between cussing out Multichoice, I'm contemplating the foolish- add a Hi TV decoder? Its cheaper than Multichoice (which actually has more non-football content), but what happens next year when they have to bid again? What if a 3rd company outbids them both? A 3rd decoder? Can someone bring pay per view to Nigeria?
Monday, August 20, 2007
This photograph, if accurate proves the same people have been in power forever in Nigeria, giving little room to others. The picture shows Generals Babangida, Abacha, Obasanjo and Danjuma, as junior army officers in a relaxed state. For the purposes of accuracy, we must remember the present President, Umaru Yar'Adua, was brother to the now deceased General Musa Yar'Adua, Obasanjo's friend and deputy.
Legacy Realties Ltd, main financial sponsors for the month-long "A Season of Soyinka" had given my organization more than we'd originally envisaged by the time the dust settled. This was separate from costs they incurred as they pursued their own publicity trail via TV and newspaper adverts to herald the fact that the Season coincided with the Company's 10th year anniversary.
Jide Odusolu, CEO of Legacy, (in photo) has been a friend for close to two decades and had been sponsoring individual plays of mine over the years.
This funding went a long way and helped jumpstart the programme.
Terra Kulture, donors of the venue did not desire any part of the gate takings either, which made the event one that worked for all the artistes and directors who gave so much to it.
I am grateful to the friends who have always stood by me and I look forward to a speedy return to the glory days of theatre.
If you're living in the country or outside it, and you're giving thought to purchasing your own home here, I'd like to suggest Legacy as a viable option.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
I saw the message below from google today. I thought nothing of it until I saw the message had been repeated in Norse (is that what they call the language of those based in the Scandinavian part of Europe?) and sent to both my yahoo and gmail addresses. This is a message generated when you forget your password. I have no reason to forget a password I use all the time for more than one purpose. Someone had been trying to get on my blog and my e-mail accounts (access private documents and pass off as me?) Google's use of language (and a lack of intelligence by the would-be hacker) helps locate the base of this person.
I consider myself a busy, productive person, relevant in the society I dwell in, and cannot fathom being obsessed over like this, day and night. But it's finally dawned on me that I am not dealing with reason. I'll be taking concrete legitimate steps to protect myself henceforth.
Blogger Account Information
Hi there,
Your blog, http://laspapi.blogspot.com/ , is associated with the Google Account username laspapi@gmail.com . Please use this Google Account username to log in to Blogger and access your blog.
If you've forgotten your password, you can reset it by clicking this link:
http://www.blogger.com/forgot.g?r=laspapi%40gmail.com
This account is a member of the following blogs:
http://laspapi.blogspot.com/
http://speakingoutagainstprofanity.blogspot.com/
http://nonichatroom.blogspot.com/
If you experience any problems or have further questions, please visit our help site at http://help.blogger.com/
Yours sincerely,
The Blogger Team
Subject- Googles hjälp med lösenord
Om du vill inleda processen för att återställa lösenordet för ditt
Google-konto laspapi@gmail.com besöker du länken nedan
http://www.google.com/accounts/RP?c=CP7prdHpoM6P1wEQvM6j44ukz7oj&hl=sv
Om länken ovan inte fungerar kopierar du och klistrar in webbadressen
i ett nytt webbläsarfönster i stället.Tack för att du använder
Google.
Om du har frågor eller funderingar angående ditt konto kan du läsa
våra vanliga frågor om Google-konton på
http://www.google.com/help/faq_accounts.html
Detta är endast ett mailutskick. Detta meddelande besvaras eller
granskas inte.
I consider myself a busy, productive person, relevant in the society I dwell in, and cannot fathom being obsessed over like this, day and night. But it's finally dawned on me that I am not dealing with reason. I'll be taking concrete legitimate steps to protect myself henceforth.
Blogger Account Information
Hi there,
Your blog, http://laspapi.blogspot.com/ , is associated with the Google Account username laspapi@gmail.com . Please use this Google Account username to log in to Blogger and access your blog.
If you've forgotten your password, you can reset it by clicking this link:
http://www.blogger.com/forgot.g?r=laspapi%40gmail.com
This account is a member of the following blogs:
http://laspapi.blogspot.com/
http://speakingoutagainstprofanity.blogspot.com/
http://nonichatroom.blogspot.com/
If you experience any problems or have further questions, please visit our help site at http://help.blogger.com/
Yours sincerely,
The Blogger Team
Subject- Googles hjälp med lösenord
Om du vill inleda processen för att återställa lösenordet för ditt
Google-konto laspapi@gmail.com besöker du länken nedan
http://www.google.com/accounts/RP?c=CP7prdHpoM6P1wEQvM6j44ukz7oj&hl=sv
Om länken ovan inte fungerar kopierar du och klistrar in webbadressen
i ett nytt webbläsarfönster i stället.Tack för att du använder
Google.
Om du har frågor eller funderingar angående ditt konto kan du läsa
våra vanliga frågor om Google-konton på
http://www.google.com/help/faq_accounts.html
Detta är endast ett mailutskick. Detta meddelande besvaras eller
granskas inte.
The Girl Whisperer
as published by the Sunday Guardian
August 19
Fear Factor
I have a friend, let’s call him walexy, whom I’ve known many years back now. One day, as we sat talking, he showed a list of the 10 things he wanted in a partner. According to him, if the candidate possessed most of the traits he’d put down, then a relationship could be worked out.
Even though I am older now, it is still one of the most sound bits of advice I can give another, about relationships. Rule number one is that you write your list so you know exactly what you want and you don’t settle for less.
It’s interesting that when we go to a shopping mall, we often have a list of the things we want. We might deviate a bit, but more often than not, we clear the list and then get a bit more, a bonus if you would, if we still have money left. It’s much the same when we go car hunting. In this case, we’ve usually spoken to a car mechanic or two, a driver of the same model, and taken opinions, far and wide. Some might consider this clinical, but even now, in our minds, we all have a list of sorts. The purpose of a physical list is to concretise the things we yearn for.
There’s nothing too trivial to put on the list, if it matters to you. There are girls who insist that the man of their dreams must be over six feet tall, humorous and muscular. Some want patience and kindness and others, a man who has a healthy bank account. In all the cases in times past when the Whisperer ignored “the list”, there was hell to pay. As the saying goes, “if you won’t stand for something, you’ll settle for anything”.
If you’re not into skinny people, don’t digress from your list, and if it’s the very slim type that makes you happy, stay true to yourself. A preparation of a list before falling into the hands of the wrong person will prevent you from learning the true meaning of fear. There are many who will not take “no” for an answer if you are to inform them you made a mistake in choosing them as partners. I met a female once who told me she tried to leave a man she’d mistaken for the real McCoy. The “gentleman” thereafter tried to use a door to smash her legs to pieces as she lay on the ground, inert from a tumble she took as he pursued her. However, the “scorned” partners who would go to extreme lengths to hurt you physically, emotionally or in other ways, could be of either gender as there are women who will issue death threats if you think of leaving them. Having a list beforehand, almost always protects you from being dazzled by surface sheen, and mistaking it for gold.
There are ways you might know you’re in for trouble if you're thinking of forging ahead. A potential partner who blames all of his or her problems on a former relationship, is sending a signal you must take seriously. If anything happens to you both, you will, in turn, have to bear the entirety of the blame. If your partner exhibits a vindictive nature, expressing a burning desire that misfortune falls on other people who pulled out of relationships with him or her, it might also be a good idea for you to watch your step.
Then there are people who have been deserted by every single person they’ve been with, perpetual victims. Never feel charitable and assume yourself a messiah in this instance. You must look to the root of this problem before you agree to start a relationship with such a person.
However, if you are already entangled with someone whom you know is totally unsuitable for you, don’t be afraid to let go. It’s your life, your future, your happiness, and no one can live it for you. Christiane Amanpour, the CNN reporter waited till she was 41 years old before marrying because according to her, she wouldn’t be short-changed. Why hastily enter into an arrangement you might never be able to escape from?
as published by the Sunday Guardian
August 19
Fear Factor
I have a friend, let’s call him walexy, whom I’ve known many years back now. One day, as we sat talking, he showed a list of the 10 things he wanted in a partner. According to him, if the candidate possessed most of the traits he’d put down, then a relationship could be worked out.
Even though I am older now, it is still one of the most sound bits of advice I can give another, about relationships. Rule number one is that you write your list so you know exactly what you want and you don’t settle for less.
It’s interesting that when we go to a shopping mall, we often have a list of the things we want. We might deviate a bit, but more often than not, we clear the list and then get a bit more, a bonus if you would, if we still have money left. It’s much the same when we go car hunting. In this case, we’ve usually spoken to a car mechanic or two, a driver of the same model, and taken opinions, far and wide. Some might consider this clinical, but even now, in our minds, we all have a list of sorts. The purpose of a physical list is to concretise the things we yearn for.
There’s nothing too trivial to put on the list, if it matters to you. There are girls who insist that the man of their dreams must be over six feet tall, humorous and muscular. Some want patience and kindness and others, a man who has a healthy bank account. In all the cases in times past when the Whisperer ignored “the list”, there was hell to pay. As the saying goes, “if you won’t stand for something, you’ll settle for anything”.
If you’re not into skinny people, don’t digress from your list, and if it’s the very slim type that makes you happy, stay true to yourself. A preparation of a list before falling into the hands of the wrong person will prevent you from learning the true meaning of fear. There are many who will not take “no” for an answer if you are to inform them you made a mistake in choosing them as partners. I met a female once who told me she tried to leave a man she’d mistaken for the real McCoy. The “gentleman” thereafter tried to use a door to smash her legs to pieces as she lay on the ground, inert from a tumble she took as he pursued her. However, the “scorned” partners who would go to extreme lengths to hurt you physically, emotionally or in other ways, could be of either gender as there are women who will issue death threats if you think of leaving them. Having a list beforehand, almost always protects you from being dazzled by surface sheen, and mistaking it for gold.
There are ways you might know you’re in for trouble if you're thinking of forging ahead. A potential partner who blames all of his or her problems on a former relationship, is sending a signal you must take seriously. If anything happens to you both, you will, in turn, have to bear the entirety of the blame. If your partner exhibits a vindictive nature, expressing a burning desire that misfortune falls on other people who pulled out of relationships with him or her, it might also be a good idea for you to watch your step.
Then there are people who have been deserted by every single person they’ve been with, perpetual victims. Never feel charitable and assume yourself a messiah in this instance. You must look to the root of this problem before you agree to start a relationship with such a person.
However, if you are already entangled with someone whom you know is totally unsuitable for you, don’t be afraid to let go. It’s your life, your future, your happiness, and no one can live it for you. Christiane Amanpour, the CNN reporter waited till she was 41 years old before marrying because according to her, she wouldn’t be short-changed. Why hastily enter into an arrangement you might never be able to escape from?
Saturday, August 18, 2007
New Dawn
Was a guest on Funmi Iyanda’s NTA Network programme, “New Dawn's” recording yesterday, Friday, along with Marcellinus Nwaogwu, Chief Clinical Psychologist at the Yaba Psychiatric Hospital.
After the recording which will be aired next Wednesday, the guest for the next recording was the new Commissioner for Police in Lagos, MD Abubakar. The suave copper, one month old in his new post had to sit and be interrogated by Funmi Iyanda, Susan Eyo-Honesty (Deputy Editor in Chief of the magazine, “City People” ) and Nkechi Obi, (M.D, ISD Consult ) over allegations that his men were targeting females dressed “indecently” and men with Dreads, tatoos and ear-rings. Funmi herself, just a while back, had been stopped in her car along with a couple of our mutual friends and asked to explain why she was dressed a certain way (Read story here). and see photo of the attire in issue. The P.C. spoke extensively and he spoke for long but reassured everyone that his men who had done these things exceeded instructions given them. The directive had been to intercept females who might be accomplices to felons. He spoke of crime, the steps taken to combat it (There has been a heavy police presence in Lagos lately) and the limitations of the police.
We hope for a better country.
Ps. By the way, half the fun of the recordings of New Dawn must be the conversations we engage in after.
Pps. babawilly, I gave funmi your book.
Monday, August 13, 2007
My friend, Muhtar, is a great man...
The reputable book publishers, Farafina, Nigerian publishers of Chimamanda Adichie's "Purple Hibiscus", (winner of the Commonwealth prize) and "Half of a Yellow Sun" (Winner of the Orange Prize), Biyi Bandele's "Burma Boy", Sefi Atta's "Everything good will come (Winner of the Wole Soyinka Prize for Literature)" and Ngugi Wa Thiongo's "Wizard of the Crow" among others, will be publishing the book, Naija Bloggers Volume I. We stand in great company.
After an extended meeting with Muhtar Bakare, C.E.O. of the company, in which he committed his establishment to be publishers, I knew there could be no better place to have this book brought to life than through Farafina.
The book, according to Muhtar, will not be a rush job, and proper care will be taken in its production. It is intended that it is as cutting-edge(d) in content and cover, as its contributors.
Participating bloggers will be informed via e-mail of all developments.
Purchases of other books published by Farafina may be purchased online by going here
The Girl Whisperer
as published by the Sunday Guardian
of August 12
Of Radiators and Drains
The Girl Whisperer knows this one thing and it is that people are generally, classifiable into two groups. They are either able to radiate your goodness and virtues, a certain kind of multiplicity effect if you like, that allows you to be all you can be, or they act as drain pipes, feeding on your strengths and positivism, never adding to you, always taking, always siphoning, leaving you weak and depleted.
The radiator effect is one that makes you feel like a giant, able to achieve anything and to soar from any height. There are no limits when you meet a radiator and you know that with this person, you can achieve the impossible. The best kind of mate to find is the one that encourages you to fly, to lift yourself above the level you currently stand on and dream the impossible dream. At all times, you feel the warmth of the radiator, and on dark cold nights, when you feel alone and are faced with the limits of the mortal frame, you can turn and seek warmth in this person, reassured that a wall of support will always be there for you.
The drain is completely different, as this one builds his or her aspirations around you. Whereas, the radiator remains supportive as he or she continues with her own life, the drain will let you know that without you, his or her life has little meaning. In a world that is already hard enough as it is, you are forced to carry the hang-ups of another upon your shoulders and gradually, without knowing it, lose the very things that give you your vitality. The drain appeals to pity, beclouds you with misery and subtly ensures that the things that are important to you no longer take centre stage. A relationship with a drain is against natural law and a perversion of how relationships ought to be.
If we pause and reflect, we will see that we can cast all of the people we know, into one or the other of these two groups. The reason childhood friendships are often so strong is because few children have honed the skills needed to be drains. Their emotions are not contrived, lack pretence, and are devoid of guile.
The professional adult drain on the other hand often seeks a target that appears to be a natural radiator; only in matches like this, the drain has a vampiric effect, seeking to feed off the essence of the radiator without adding substance.
How can you tell the drain apart from others? He or she blames everyone else for his or her woes, never accepting responsibility or seeking to forge ahead. According to the drain, there is a person responsible for whatever situation he or she is in, and the drain’s cup is never half full. The drain makes your life his or hers, refusing to “get a life” as we sometimes say in jest. When you are the only thing that gives another’s life, meaning, you are in trouble whether you realise it or not. Drains have been known to get nasty when the person being fed off, realizes what is happening and attempts to get out of the situation. The drain will often attempt to destroy what he or she cannot have.
When the radiator looks through the bars that hedge him or her in, all that can be seen are the stars. The drain sees only the mud, all the time. The effect of a drain is a long-term one, gradually weakening the person acting as a host till there is no strength left. The drain will not leave you when there is nothing left to feed off, though. Misery seeks companions and he or she will gladly stay by you as you both wallow in despondency.
When you realize you are embroiled with a drain, seek to make this person know the disadvantages of being in a situation where only one person benefits. If the drain will not change, you must make the changes required.
You have only one life to live, and if you let this be manipulated by another, you miss the very point of your existence.
as published by the Sunday Guardian
of August 12
Of Radiators and Drains
The Girl Whisperer knows this one thing and it is that people are generally, classifiable into two groups. They are either able to radiate your goodness and virtues, a certain kind of multiplicity effect if you like, that allows you to be all you can be, or they act as drain pipes, feeding on your strengths and positivism, never adding to you, always taking, always siphoning, leaving you weak and depleted.
The radiator effect is one that makes you feel like a giant, able to achieve anything and to soar from any height. There are no limits when you meet a radiator and you know that with this person, you can achieve the impossible. The best kind of mate to find is the one that encourages you to fly, to lift yourself above the level you currently stand on and dream the impossible dream. At all times, you feel the warmth of the radiator, and on dark cold nights, when you feel alone and are faced with the limits of the mortal frame, you can turn and seek warmth in this person, reassured that a wall of support will always be there for you.
The drain is completely different, as this one builds his or her aspirations around you. Whereas, the radiator remains supportive as he or she continues with her own life, the drain will let you know that without you, his or her life has little meaning. In a world that is already hard enough as it is, you are forced to carry the hang-ups of another upon your shoulders and gradually, without knowing it, lose the very things that give you your vitality. The drain appeals to pity, beclouds you with misery and subtly ensures that the things that are important to you no longer take centre stage. A relationship with a drain is against natural law and a perversion of how relationships ought to be.
If we pause and reflect, we will see that we can cast all of the people we know, into one or the other of these two groups. The reason childhood friendships are often so strong is because few children have honed the skills needed to be drains. Their emotions are not contrived, lack pretence, and are devoid of guile.
The professional adult drain on the other hand often seeks a target that appears to be a natural radiator; only in matches like this, the drain has a vampiric effect, seeking to feed off the essence of the radiator without adding substance.
How can you tell the drain apart from others? He or she blames everyone else for his or her woes, never accepting responsibility or seeking to forge ahead. According to the drain, there is a person responsible for whatever situation he or she is in, and the drain’s cup is never half full. The drain makes your life his or hers, refusing to “get a life” as we sometimes say in jest. When you are the only thing that gives another’s life, meaning, you are in trouble whether you realise it or not. Drains have been known to get nasty when the person being fed off, realizes what is happening and attempts to get out of the situation. The drain will often attempt to destroy what he or she cannot have.
When the radiator looks through the bars that hedge him or her in, all that can be seen are the stars. The drain sees only the mud, all the time. The effect of a drain is a long-term one, gradually weakening the person acting as a host till there is no strength left. The drain will not leave you when there is nothing left to feed off, though. Misery seeks companions and he or she will gladly stay by you as you both wallow in despondency.
When you realize you are embroiled with a drain, seek to make this person know the disadvantages of being in a situation where only one person benefits. If the drain will not change, you must make the changes required.
You have only one life to live, and if you let this be manipulated by another, you miss the very point of your existence.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Thursday, August 09, 2007
More Monologues
The blind Music Producer- Cobhams Emmanuel Asuquo, the stage actress- Kemi "lala" Akindoju and a friend who was driving were on the way to Eko Reel Mix Studios at a little after 8pm last night when the driver noticed obstructions on the road around the Aswani-Isolo road that leads to the Osolo Way. They slowed down and heard a gunshot. Two men in mufti materialized from the darkness carrying guns, soon followed by others in mobile police uniforms and carrying arms too.
The policemen yelled- "you're criminals", why didn't you stop when we asked you to?"
Their replies that they didn't see the obstructions only incensed the "super-cops".
One, visibly high on unknown substances, dragged the driver of the vehicle to a dark corner, smashed up a table and proceeded to use the broken parts to beat him, swearing at him intermittently and saying, "I will kill you here" . When the policeman was sated, he returned to Cobhams to "discipline" him as well. "lala" pleaded with them that cobhams was blind, and another of the policemen thrust a gun in his face yelling "na lie! na lie! wetin be this?"
After a while, many pleas, and being finally convinced of his state, they told them, "since you're not robbers, you have to pay for our wasted bullet". After they paid N1,500, they let them go. Cobhams' blindness saved them from what might have led to anything.
"Who shall guard the guards?" -Juvenal
The blind Music Producer- Cobhams Emmanuel Asuquo, the stage actress- Kemi "lala" Akindoju and a friend who was driving were on the way to Eko Reel Mix Studios at a little after 8pm last night when the driver noticed obstructions on the road around the Aswani-Isolo road that leads to the Osolo Way. They slowed down and heard a gunshot. Two men in mufti materialized from the darkness carrying guns, soon followed by others in mobile police uniforms and carrying arms too.
The policemen yelled- "you're criminals", why didn't you stop when we asked you to?"
Their replies that they didn't see the obstructions only incensed the "super-cops".
One, visibly high on unknown substances, dragged the driver of the vehicle to a dark corner, smashed up a table and proceeded to use the broken parts to beat him, swearing at him intermittently and saying, "I will kill you here" . When the policeman was sated, he returned to Cobhams to "discipline" him as well. "lala" pleaded with them that cobhams was blind, and another of the policemen thrust a gun in his face yelling "na lie! na lie! wetin be this?"
After a while, many pleas, and being finally convinced of his state, they told them, "since you're not robbers, you have to pay for our wasted bullet". After they paid N1,500, they let them go. Cobhams' blindness saved them from what might have led to anything.
"Who shall guard the guards?" -Juvenal
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Monologues...
The average Nigerian cannot live averagely- Koffi Nuel Idowu (Stand Up Comic & Singer)
There's been a fairly steady supply of electricity in Lagos...which makes everyone slightly uneasy. That's how damaged our collective psyche as citizens has become.
News is going round that members of the Police Force are arresting men with dreads and women dressed "indecently". I'm tired of calling the Nigerian Police, names, but this moronic command has to have come from a ...(no name calling)
Covenant University has made mandatory pregnancy and HIV tests compulsory for would-be graduands...The uproar in Nigeria over this is unprecedented.
There's a new catch phrase for Guinness from the TV ad. An older man says of his younger friend, "My friend, Udeme is a great man...". I like the phrase.
The Police are arresting criminals, touts and area boys en masse in Lagos now. The first serious clamp-down in 8 years (since before Bola Tinubu). Tinubu's adversaries say area boys (and crime) profilerated under his government. I would like to agree.
Alams (former governor of bayelsa) has been released from prison after robbing his state, blind. He received a hero's welcome.
Tafa Balogun (the Inspector General of Police who received a 6 month sentence for stealing 17 billion naira) said, "I'll bounce back".
The Metropoitan Police (The UK) wants former governor Ibori of Delta State to help with its criminal investigations into his affairs
The average Nigerian cannot live averagely- Koffi Nuel Idowu (Stand Up Comic & Singer)
There's been a fairly steady supply of electricity in Lagos...which makes everyone slightly uneasy. That's how damaged our collective psyche as citizens has become.
News is going round that members of the Police Force are arresting men with dreads and women dressed "indecently". I'm tired of calling the Nigerian Police, names, but this moronic command has to have come from a ...(no name calling)
Covenant University has made mandatory pregnancy and HIV tests compulsory for would-be graduands...The uproar in Nigeria over this is unprecedented.
There's a new catch phrase for Guinness from the TV ad. An older man says of his younger friend, "My friend, Udeme is a great man...". I like the phrase.
The Police are arresting criminals, touts and area boys en masse in Lagos now. The first serious clamp-down in 8 years (since before Bola Tinubu). Tinubu's adversaries say area boys (and crime) profilerated under his government. I would like to agree.
Alams (former governor of bayelsa) has been released from prison after robbing his state, blind. He received a hero's welcome.
Tafa Balogun (the Inspector General of Police who received a 6 month sentence for stealing 17 billion naira) said, "I'll bounce back".
The Metropoitan Police (The UK) wants former governor Ibori of Delta State to help with its criminal investigations into his affairs
Sunday, August 05, 2007
The Theatre @ Terra project commenced with the staging of "Who's Afraid Of Wole Soyinka?" again on Sunday the 5th of August.
Other plays that will come up in other Sundays in August, are:
August 12- Sizwe Bansi is dead written by Athol Fugard and directed by Sunkanmi Adebayo
August 19- Omo'do & Orisa written by Bode Osanyin and directed by Segun Adefila
August 26- The Jero Plays (The Trials of Brother Jero & Jero's Metamorphosis) written by Wole Soyinka and directed by Wole Oguntokun
Venue- Terra Kulture, Tiamiyu Savage St, Victoria Island
Time: 3pm and 6pm
Gates- N2000 (Adults), N1500 (Students)
Visit terra theatre's blog for more information.
Other plays that will come up in other Sundays in August, are:
August 12- Sizwe Bansi is dead written by Athol Fugard and directed by Sunkanmi Adebayo
August 19- Omo'do & Orisa written by Bode Osanyin and directed by Segun Adefila
August 26- The Jero Plays (The Trials of Brother Jero & Jero's Metamorphosis) written by Wole Soyinka and directed by Wole Oguntokun
Venue- Terra Kulture, Tiamiyu Savage St, Victoria Island
Time: 3pm and 6pm
Gates- N2000 (Adults), N1500 (Students)
Visit terra theatre's blog for more information.
The Girl Whisperer
by laspapi
as published by the Sunday Guardian
of August 5
The Dream Snatchers
If you want to distract a man with a dream, give him a second dream- Mike Murdoch.
Many of us are born with dreams and aspirations and a burning desire to make these things come to pass in life. Along life’s path, many things come to push our aspirations to the back of our minds. It might be a father who wants a child to study medicine when the child would rather be a dancer, or a mother who thinks you’d be better off marrying a rich but insensitive man. It could be the older brother who tells you, the song you wrote will never be a hit (as Dido’s did when she first wrote the hit song, “Thank you”). It might even be the economics, insecurity and poverty of an entire continent that forces you to relocate and leave your hopes and plans behind, when you’d rather be taking a stroll side by side with the friends of your youth, along the roads you grew up walking on.
For a few, they are able to hold on to their dreams until adulthood, walking the path they have always wanted, content and happy with the world, until they meet a dream snatcher.
Often, those who lose dreams to others do not realize there is a process underway until it is too late. We must watch out for the mate who compels the other to pick up a banking job or a 9 to 5 because it is more ‘realistic’ and is much more dependable than painting or picking up photography, and the friend who says “get real, people don’t always get what they want”.
One must remember, however, that a human being is nothing without dreams and the very essence of life is made up of aspirations and hopes. When these are taken from us, there is very little left to give satisfaction.
As a member of a fellowship in my University days, I was told by someone I highly respected (and still do) and who was in a position of authority over me at the time, that my regular attendance of programmes at the “Pit Theatre” (The name for the University’s drama department) was wrong and ungodly. Though I was a student in the law faculty, I found immense satisfaction in watching stage plays and immersing myself in the world that was offered by the drama students.
I pondered on his words trying to make sense of them but chose to ignore his advice and instead continued with what gave me satisfaction. It wasn’t pleasing to him but it was singularly the most important decision I took career-wise at that point in time. Today, even as a lawyer, the theatre is my home and I, myself have become a strong practitioner of this art.
The dream snatcher will rarely come in the guise of an enemy. Often, this person is a loved one, a friend, a trusted and close confidant, and the advice offered is not given with malice or any sinister motives.
The only problem with this advice and a flaw too fundamental to be ignored, is that the dream snatcher tries to make you live his or her dream without knowing it. We should resist the attempt to live the blue-print of the lives of others as it might be the difference between living a life of content or one where we go through life as a routine, finding no pleasure in the things we do.
There are many people who have been tied to mates, jobs and careers they have no interest in, for many, many years. Unfortunately, like the Robert Frost poem goes, “road leads on to road” and after a while, they are unable to return to the point where they first took a turn on the path that killed their aspirations. The inability to retrace steps is a sad one and strikes one of the strongest blows against the human spirit.
We all, must guard our dreams with all the strength we have because life can be beautiful when you’re doing exactly what you’ve always wanted to do. The sun shines warmly on those who follow their hearts.
by laspapi
as published by the Sunday Guardian
of August 5
The Dream Snatchers
If you want to distract a man with a dream, give him a second dream- Mike Murdoch.
Many of us are born with dreams and aspirations and a burning desire to make these things come to pass in life. Along life’s path, many things come to push our aspirations to the back of our minds. It might be a father who wants a child to study medicine when the child would rather be a dancer, or a mother who thinks you’d be better off marrying a rich but insensitive man. It could be the older brother who tells you, the song you wrote will never be a hit (as Dido’s did when she first wrote the hit song, “Thank you”). It might even be the economics, insecurity and poverty of an entire continent that forces you to relocate and leave your hopes and plans behind, when you’d rather be taking a stroll side by side with the friends of your youth, along the roads you grew up walking on.
For a few, they are able to hold on to their dreams until adulthood, walking the path they have always wanted, content and happy with the world, until they meet a dream snatcher.
Often, those who lose dreams to others do not realize there is a process underway until it is too late. We must watch out for the mate who compels the other to pick up a banking job or a 9 to 5 because it is more ‘realistic’ and is much more dependable than painting or picking up photography, and the friend who says “get real, people don’t always get what they want”.
One must remember, however, that a human being is nothing without dreams and the very essence of life is made up of aspirations and hopes. When these are taken from us, there is very little left to give satisfaction.
As a member of a fellowship in my University days, I was told by someone I highly respected (and still do) and who was in a position of authority over me at the time, that my regular attendance of programmes at the “Pit Theatre” (The name for the University’s drama department) was wrong and ungodly. Though I was a student in the law faculty, I found immense satisfaction in watching stage plays and immersing myself in the world that was offered by the drama students.
I pondered on his words trying to make sense of them but chose to ignore his advice and instead continued with what gave me satisfaction. It wasn’t pleasing to him but it was singularly the most important decision I took career-wise at that point in time. Today, even as a lawyer, the theatre is my home and I, myself have become a strong practitioner of this art.
The dream snatcher will rarely come in the guise of an enemy. Often, this person is a loved one, a friend, a trusted and close confidant, and the advice offered is not given with malice or any sinister motives.
The only problem with this advice and a flaw too fundamental to be ignored, is that the dream snatcher tries to make you live his or her dream without knowing it. We should resist the attempt to live the blue-print of the lives of others as it might be the difference between living a life of content or one where we go through life as a routine, finding no pleasure in the things we do.
There are many people who have been tied to mates, jobs and careers they have no interest in, for many, many years. Unfortunately, like the Robert Frost poem goes, “road leads on to road” and after a while, they are unable to return to the point where they first took a turn on the path that killed their aspirations. The inability to retrace steps is a sad one and strikes one of the strongest blows against the human spirit.
We all, must guard our dreams with all the strength we have because life can be beautiful when you’re doing exactly what you’ve always wanted to do. The sun shines warmly on those who follow their hearts.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
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