POINTS TO PONDER (Was sent this ages ago too. I'm still pondering)

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

If olive oil comes from olives, where should baby oil come from?

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? hehehe......

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? Oops...

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

If horrific means to make horrible, should terrific mean to make terrible?

Why is it called building when it is already built?

If a book about failures sells, is it a success ?

If you're not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots?

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

Internal Revenue Official to clergyman-

We think you may have miscounted your blessings.

JASONVISION presents ANATOMY OF A WOMAN (A Stage Play)

Written and Directed by Wole Oguntokun

Featuring Stella Damasus-Aboderin, Jennifer Osammor, Kenneth Uphopho, Bolaji Alonge, Olarotimi Michaels

Special Pre-show Bonus- The All-Female Music Ensemble, Nefretiti, featuring Adunni

Venue: Agip Recital Hall, Muson Centre
Date: Sunday, 25th March 2007
Time: 3pm and 6pm
Gate: N2000/Students with I.D. N1000

For tickets and enquiries, call 0802 301 3778, 01-897 1691, 01-813 6229 or e-mail laspapi@yahoo.com

Tickets also available at Tastee Fried Chicken, Nu Metro and The Muson Centre

Matthew Ashimolowo earned almost 200,000 pounds more than the Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr. Rowan Atkinson, (who earns 66,140 pounds) in one year and 12 times more than parish priests in England (20,460 pounds).

The Charity Comission unearthed serious financial irregularities and two years ago, Ashy was ordered to pay back 200,000 pounds out of which he has returned a little over 20,000 pounds.

Condensed from The Evening Standard, Tuesday Feb 27

Jola dropped this verse she came across in her comment on the previous post.

I'd rather see a Christian than hear one any day
I'd rather see a sermon, than hear one any day;
I'd rather one would walk with me,
Than merely point the way.
The eye's a better pupil and more willing than the ear,
Fine counsel is confusing but example's always clear.
And the best of all the preachers are those who live their creeds;
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs!
I soon can learn to do it if you'll let me see it done;
I can see your hands in action but your tongue too fast may run.
And the lectures you deliver may be very fine and true;
But I'd rather get my lessons by observing what you do!
For I may misunderstand you and the high advice you give;
But there's no misunderstanding how you act and how you live!

I saw a link on Mona's to a story about Matthew Ashimolowo, the 'Nigerian-Born' pastor of KICC, a church in England. Ashy as I'll call him here, is under investigation for receiving 250,000 pounds as his annual salary last year. That's about 60 million naira. The British consider church work a charity thing and not a business as Nigerians tend to see it.

According to the story, he was also given 120,000 pounds to celebrate his birthday by the church. I saw photos of that birthday celebration in some 5-star hotel in a magazine and had been taken aback then by its unbridled gaudy opulence (all this grammar...)
A church worker was quoted as saying he deserved more than that salary.

Here's laspapi's view point-

There are some churches that are worthy of being called that name.

There are other Nigerians who take advantage of 'the laws of God' to ask for "first-fruits, tithes and offerings" etc so as to spend on themselves. Church money is for the church, not for the private consumption of its leaders. The orthodox churches here have the advantage of keeping records of sums that come into their coffers and how these monies are disbursed.

I wrote and staged a play, "Rage of the Pentecost" at the Muson Centre in 2002 in which I lampooned "Men of God" who are in it mainly for material gain. Pastors came (that of my church inclusive), Imams too as well as many others. On Funmi Iyanda's live TV show then, where I was a guest, some church-goers (of suspicious churches) called the telephone lines to "attack" me for daring to question the "Men of God". The level of brainwashing that forbids you from opening your eyes worries me.
A friend told me, "laspapi, we know these things happen, but should we make it public? Unbelievers will say this is what we have always thought of them".
I replied him, "the work of God doesn't need anyone's help to stand. It can do so on it's own".
Then the classic statement they all make, "Judge not...". Yeah, right. I can "judge" politicians, governments, the military and society itself, in my plays, but not these self-appointed thieving church leaders?

Foggerrit. I have just started. I've been "arrested" outside Joshua's "Synagogue" by mobile policemen with guns and "church" workers (was on the way to a rehearsal at Taiwo Ajai-Lycett's in December of 2003 when I saw the building and tried to record its exterior on film), and been called names by other adherents of fraudulent churches.

Note that if someone had, had the sense to query the lunatic called Reverend King, he wouldn't have had the opportunity of pouring petrol on his church workers and setting them alight. Or the incestous Jesu Oyingbo. Or Jim Jones before the Guyana Tragedy. Or the Waco Cult.

Pastor Enoch Adejare Adeboye said at OBJ's swearing-in for a 2nd term- "I admit we have charlatans in our midst". He was speaking of Church Leadership in Nigeria. Thank you for that boldness, Sir. The business men who pose as M.O.G.s would die rather than say that.

So I have no problem with Ashimolowo, his bejewelled fingers and his out-of-date haircut but I thank the British for having the sense to check activities deemed suspicious. We should have an E.F.C.C. for churches here.

I have since renamed my play, "The Return of Sogidi" so as to get more people seated the next time I stage it.

ps. I'm a Christian. Don't judge me.

I just finished reading Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl.
Its about a German-Jewish girl who's family emigrated to Holland from Germany just before the 2nd World War, because of persecution by the Nazis. Her family hid for upwards of two years in a back apartment of an office building till they were given up to the Gestapo by a Dutch informant.
She, her mother and sister as well as another family that hid with them, died in the concentration camps.
It's the duty of all humans to resist such things happening again, whether in the guise of oppression in one's own country or without.

New notes were introduced into the Nigerian economy. I thought I’d show a couple. They’re smaller than the ones we had previously and the Arabic inscriptions on the notes have been removed much to the chagrin of the feudal lords of the North. According to them, Northerners will now be unable to read the Ibo, Yoruba and Hausa words announcing the denominations on the paper money.

Worthy of mention is the N20 bill which feels different from all the others. I saw the N10 and N50 bills as well. The N20 feels like almost like the stuff of film, you know the material used to laminate documents and stuff before it goes through heat. I’m sure you’ll see what I mean soon.

I made my mai-guard (security guard at home) hold the notes. They were borrowed for a quick photo shoot from other security guards on the street.