The Guardian today published my interview of Kate Henshaw (The Bold, The Cool and The Beautiful).
When the Guardian first hit the Nigerian Scene, it advertised itself saying, "Sooner or Later, you'll read the Guardian". That has come to pass.
The Guardian and I have come a long way since then.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
The Girl Whisperer
by laspapi
as published in the Sunday Guardian of Sunday April 8
The Share-Holders
If you ask a man which he’d prefer- his woman to “be intimate with” another man or fall in love with another- the man will reply, “She may fall in love but she mustn’t do anything physical with another man”. The answer of the woman is radically different. Women say, “I can forgive my man the lapse of “being intimate” with another woman but he mustn’t fall in love”. No one can explain this radical difference between the outlook of the man and the woman but it is as true as the moon controls the ocean tides and the monthly cycles of women.
How can a woman know when other women have stakes in her man or if he’s been with his secretary or his receptionist, the cook, housemaid or even the girl next door? It’s easy, as generally, men kiss and tell. This weakness in some way, is a manner of keeping score, of marking how many trees have been felled and where, and conquests are often exaggerated and blown out of proportion. Let no one be under the impression that women do not swap notes. They do too, even if not as unguardedly as men do. The man’s misdeeds can be discovered through his driver or junior colleagues. Men are not very good at subterfuge and a few gifts from the woman to a driver envious of the boss’s suavity and “successes” will throw up the most amazing details.
The erring man himself forgets to cover his own tracks after a while, and the usual clichés of finding lipstick on his collar or underwear, will come to pass. There’ll be the phone number on the scrap of paper in his pocket, the protective rubber forgotten in his wallet and similar clues. Men are just not very good at concentrating over long periods of time when it comes to undercover work. The stake of the share holder can be discovered in the body language of the erring man and his “concubine”. People who have been intimate cannot hide their body language from the trained eye. A person you have not been intimate with, can only come so close till you become visibly uncomfortable from the unwanted proximity and the intrusion in your private space. For those who have shared closeness of a certain sort though, the touch on the elbow or the knee in a crowded room, the long looks into each other’s eyes and the brushing past of each other as they go opposite ways through a door, reveal what they’ve been at. In their case, there is no discomfort in the invasion of each other’s private spaces.
The erring woman on the other hand is born intense and even if caught in the most compromising situation gasping for breath, will go to her death refusing to admit anything ever happened. When she stands on her ground long enough, the man begins to wonder whether to believe the evidence of his own eyes. It’s a strength women possess and which is not always used for good.
Except in a few cases, it is much more difficult to apprehend a woman who is “playing the field”. The man who will discover the erring woman must listen to his gut instincts and remember only the paranoid survive. If it doesn’t feel right, then it probably isn’t.
by laspapi
as published in the Sunday Guardian of Sunday April 8
The Share-Holders
If you ask a man which he’d prefer- his woman to “be intimate with” another man or fall in love with another- the man will reply, “She may fall in love but she mustn’t do anything physical with another man”. The answer of the woman is radically different. Women say, “I can forgive my man the lapse of “being intimate” with another woman but he mustn’t fall in love”. No one can explain this radical difference between the outlook of the man and the woman but it is as true as the moon controls the ocean tides and the monthly cycles of women.
How can a woman know when other women have stakes in her man or if he’s been with his secretary or his receptionist, the cook, housemaid or even the girl next door? It’s easy, as generally, men kiss and tell. This weakness in some way, is a manner of keeping score, of marking how many trees have been felled and where, and conquests are often exaggerated and blown out of proportion. Let no one be under the impression that women do not swap notes. They do too, even if not as unguardedly as men do. The man’s misdeeds can be discovered through his driver or junior colleagues. Men are not very good at subterfuge and a few gifts from the woman to a driver envious of the boss’s suavity and “successes” will throw up the most amazing details.
The erring man himself forgets to cover his own tracks after a while, and the usual clichés of finding lipstick on his collar or underwear, will come to pass. There’ll be the phone number on the scrap of paper in his pocket, the protective rubber forgotten in his wallet and similar clues. Men are just not very good at concentrating over long periods of time when it comes to undercover work. The stake of the share holder can be discovered in the body language of the erring man and his “concubine”. People who have been intimate cannot hide their body language from the trained eye. A person you have not been intimate with, can only come so close till you become visibly uncomfortable from the unwanted proximity and the intrusion in your private space. For those who have shared closeness of a certain sort though, the touch on the elbow or the knee in a crowded room, the long looks into each other’s eyes and the brushing past of each other as they go opposite ways through a door, reveal what they’ve been at. In their case, there is no discomfort in the invasion of each other’s private spaces.
The erring woman on the other hand is born intense and even if caught in the most compromising situation gasping for breath, will go to her death refusing to admit anything ever happened. When she stands on her ground long enough, the man begins to wonder whether to believe the evidence of his own eyes. It’s a strength women possess and which is not always used for good.
Except in a few cases, it is much more difficult to apprehend a woman who is “playing the field”. The man who will discover the erring woman must listen to his gut instincts and remember only the paranoid survive. If it doesn’t feel right, then it probably isn’t.
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Among the directors of "A Season of Soyinka" are the Stage & Television Director Kayode Peters (in picture) who first directed laspapi's "Who's Afraid of Wole Soyinka?" at it's premiere in 1998. He'll be directing it again during "The Season..." in July.
Najite Dede directed the first production of The Vagina Monologues in Nigeria, in 2006. She'll be handling "The Lion & The Jewel".
Segun Adefila, (picture not included) will direct Death & The King's Horseman
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
As the Legend turns 73, Jasonvision in collaboration with The British Council and Terra Kulture, presents "A Season of Soyinka" featuring his plays under different directors.
The Plays are The Road, The Jero Plays, Death and The Kings Horseman, Who's Afraid of Wole Soyinka (written by Wole Oguntokun) and The Lion and The Jewel.
Venue- Terra Kulture, Tiamiyu Savage Street, Victoria Island, Lagos
Dates- 1 play/2 shows (3pm and 6pm) every Sunday in July- 1st, 8th, 15th, 22nd and 29th
For sponsorship, participation and enquiries, please e-mail laspapi@yahoo.com or call 234-(0)802 301 3778 or 234-1-897 1691
The "Season" is produced by Wole Oguntokun.
Anatomy of a Woman again
Ore, who came to see the play had cause to reflect on the matter of women and societal pressures. Below is a part of what she thought.
I went to see the play Anatomy of a Woman by Wole Oguntokun. I wasn't sure what to expect, because my friend who invited me didn't tell me what it was about.
Lord! A play by a man who thinks he knows what women want, I thought.
Well, as it turned out, Wole Oguntokun does believe he knows what women want. He writes a column in the arts supplement of the Sunday Guardian called The Girl Whisperer. So, does he?
According to the play, women want to be whatever they choose to be! I liked that. Yes, I truly want to be whatever I choose to be.
See the rest of Ore's musings here.
Ore, who came to see the play had cause to reflect on the matter of women and societal pressures. Below is a part of what she thought.
I went to see the play Anatomy of a Woman by Wole Oguntokun. I wasn't sure what to expect, because my friend who invited me didn't tell me what it was about.
Lord! A play by a man who thinks he knows what women want, I thought.
Well, as it turned out, Wole Oguntokun does believe he knows what women want. He writes a column in the arts supplement of the Sunday Guardian called The Girl Whisperer. So, does he?
According to the play, women want to be whatever they choose to be! I liked that. Yes, I truly want to be whatever I choose to be.
See the rest of Ore's musings here.
Sunday, April 01, 2007
The Girl Whisperer
Pimp my Bride
by laspapi
as published in the Sunday Guardian of April 1
For those men willing to hold on to their true loves even though the shortcomings of these partners are beginning to drive them crazy, its time to "pimp your bride". For the females willing to avoid gridlocks in their relationships, they must be willing to be pimped too.
Let us start with an overview of the situation as it appears the female partner has the odds stacked against her. She must make breakfast, take care of the home, go shopping, appear nice, smell wonderful, have lunch ready, and even supper.
Often, the female is too tired after work or school to bother with looking good, she just wants to slump into a chair, hair limp from the pespiration of cooking, sip a drink and gaze in quiet and peace on an episode of "Desperate Housewives".
Unfortunately for her, the man is coming in from having passed the seductive vixen at the office in a miniskirt that would be illegal in most Arabic countries, a vixen with legs to die for. He has just sniffed the expensive and heady perfume of his colleague at work and is totally unprepared and unwilling to forgive his partner at home who has forgotten to wash the stench of the fish she made for supper, of her body. A man coming in once or twice to meet his partner reeking of tripe and animal entrails used in the preparation of the lunch stew can be gracious, but when it becomes a steady pattern, he's going to look out for women who smell nice and not like abbatoirs.
Life is unkind, you may say, as all the trouble the woman at home goes through, is mainly for the man, yet he asks for a superwoman. A homely, clean, house keeping, career minded, beautiful type is what he wants. Its the way the odds are stacked and the woman at home or who intends to become the woman there, must be willing to take the extra step, must be willing to match the woman outside, and take care of the details. The key is in the little details...the stringy hair, food between the teeth, dirt under the nails...the little things. A woman who can take care of the little details as well as the large ones secures herself and her home.
The overweight man with a paunch and beer breath should not assume that the woman is content with him the way he is. She goes out daily too and sees the clones of D'banj strolling the streets with firm bodies, toned muscles and six packs for stomachs. He must remember the woman has desires too and being the bride of michelin man is not top of her list.
"Pimping" is a two way issue and both sexes must try to be the best they can be for each other. A long time ago, Ray Parker Jnr sang, "A woman needs love just like you do...she can fool around just like you do". Except for partners in denial, the way we add value to ourselves at work is the same way we must add value to relationships.
Next week, we'll talk about how to know when your partner's sharing himself/herself with others apart from you.
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