The Deconstruction of Women (Was sent this by a friend and added the titles. It's crazy)


DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

40 ish..................................................49
Adventurous.........................................slept with everyone
Athletic................................................no breasts
Average looking....................................Moooooo
Beautiful..............................................Pathological liar
Emotionally secure...............................on medication
Feminist...............................................Fat and ugly
Free spirit.............................................Junkie
Friendship first.......................................former slut
New-Age...............................................hairy armpits
Open minded.........................................desperate
Outgoing................................................loud and embarassing
Professional...........................................bitch
Independent ..........................................lonely
Voluptuous.............................................fat
Large framed...........................................obese
Seeking soul mate...................................stalker


DECONSTRUCTING THE GRAMMAR OF WOMEN


Yes...............................................................no
No.................................................................yes
Maybe...........................................................no
We need........................................................I want
I am sorry......................................................you'll be sorry
We need to talk..............................................you're in deep trouble
I've been thinking.............................................I've decided
What if we......................................................I've decided
I'll think about it...............................................I've decided. Definitely not
Sure, go ahead...............................................you'd better not
Do you want...................................................you'll pay for that later
I am not upset ................................................of course I'm upset, moron.



DECONSTRUCTING THE GRAMMAR OF MEN

I'm hungry................................................................i'm hungry
I'm tired...................................................................i'm tired
Nice dress...............................................................nice cleavage
I love you.................................................................I'd like to have sex with you. NOW.
May I have this dance?...............................................I'd like to have sex with you later.
Like to go to a movie?................................................I'd like to have sex with you tonight.
Can I take you out to dinner?......................................I'll feed you,then we'll have sex.
I dont think those shoes go with that outfit.................I'm gay!