The Girl Whisperer

written by laspapi

as published in the Sunday Guardian

of July 1, 2007

He loves me…He loves me not…

My very cute friend, Omosewa, whose name directly translates to mean “beautiful child” is studying in America but is under siege by potential suitors from all over the world. She asked me to talk about how females can know “a guy who is totally into them”, or in general parlance, a man who really cares.

This is for all females like Omosewa, who want to be sure.
Firstly, you must understand that men fall in love faster and harder than females do and also usually attempt to break up first. Women, generally, inspect potential relationships closely, wondering and worrying if they are doing the right thing. With men sometimes, it is more of an impulsive act, and actions are taken which they live to regret. The clumsy attempts to retreat by these hasty men often causes bad blood.

You must trust the Whisperer when he says it can be difficult to tell the difference between a man who is infatuated and one who is in love. Often, for many a man, the lines are blurred and the same motions are practiced in each situation. For the man who is dextrous at lying to females, he will tell you the things you need to hear. Be careful you take his words in like perfume; they are meant to be inhaled and not swallowed.

Don’t be anxious to start a relationship with any man until you know a bit about him. A time-tested secret of men will be shared today. Some will ask a female whom they feel likes them, if it is true all girls can in five minutes of meeting a stranger, tell a man they might have a relationship with. This is a question with a trap-door underneath. Often, the female being queried agrees she has the powers of Nostradamus and then springs forth another question right on the heels of the first- “Could you have a relationship with me?” Again, following the auto-suggestion of the first question, the girl says “yes”, not allowing common sense to prevail. In effect, the prey has been boxed into a corner by the predator. Usually, these “shot-gun” relationships speedily disintegrate and if a girl has given her heart to a charlatan, she will learn that pain has dimensions not found in the dictionary. In affairs of the heart, your education and savvy matter little and when you fall, you fall hard. Females must always remember that “everybody is somebody’s fool”, the trick being not to have a relationship with a man who will treat you like a foot mat.

A girl must look to see if she has the undivided attention of the man. She must however, never mistake the frenzy of the hunt for undivided attention. Oftentimes, it is difficult to tell the difference but every female must hone the gift of discernment inherent in her.
Even when females make the right choices, there are some things that will be lost after a while in relationships. A man, after sometime, will no longer think it novel to stand by you in a hot kitchen while you cook. He might return to spending time with his friends; time which he gave you without stinting, previously.

In a potential relationship, the female must look long and hard at the proposing partner and after she has done this, she must pick up magnifying glasses and look again.
Some might ask, “where then is the spontaneity in relationships?” “Where is the magic? Where are the palpitations of the heart?” Right next to the heart break is what I’ll say in this instance. The world is littered with the walking wounded, hearts broken because of relationships not thought through.

It’s okay to be spontaneous if you’re looking for a fling or summer loving like John Travolta. However, if you’re in it for the distance, don’t be afraid to ask questions. If he thinks you’re a worthy prize, he’ll answer till you’re satisfied.