The King and I...

I lay on my bed Saturday morning, half-asleep, thinking of the fool-hardiness that had made me embark on the Soyinka Season, 5 plays, different directors and cast members for each play, a venture the Nobel Peace Prize winner himself had called ambitious and no mean feat even for a country that had the required infrastructure, not to talk of Nigeria....

But it had started, it was in full swing and I was in denial about its financial commitments so I drowsed...

Griinnnngggggg.....My phone rang and I jerked awake. A shrill female voice at the other end.

"Emi ni lati Abuja" (Its me from Abuja!)

"Prophet(sic) Mojinatulai Anuoluwa Ashake... (sometin' sometin')" . I couldn't make out the rest of her name. She was shrieking at a high pitch, non-stop.

"Oko mi ni Nwankwo". (My husband is Nwankwo)

"Baba mi Alhaji Gani ni Oshodi Oke ni Lagos". (My father is Alhaji Gani residing around Oshodi Oke in Lagos)

According to her, she had been trying to reach Soyinka since February last year but his personal assistant wouldn't let her talk to him. I wonder why. She had spent N365,000 calling since then (N1000 a day?)

I couldn't figure it out at first. Where did she get my number from?

I picked up a pen and notebook and swung my feet to the ground knowing this was going to be a good one.

"What was the message" I asked?

(Still screaming) "Ki Yoruba ma ku!" (That the Yoruba race might not die)

"Oluwa ti so won di Daddy Africa" (God has made him {Soyinka} the Daddy of Africa)

This woman continued screaming in the possession of some kind of dementia...

"Emi ni Moses of Nigeria" (I am the Moses of Nigeria)

"Soyinka ni Aaaron" (Soyinka is Aaron)

She would whisper as an aside as if to people standing near her "God bless you. Amen."

"Jagun jagun, awon lo ma ja"- (He is a warrior. He will be the one to fight)

"Jesus is Lord" and she signed off abruptly. I thought to myself, one of the most surreal events in a life and I'm alone here? But my head ached a bit from some previous altercation so I lay down.

Griinnnngggggg...I picked up the phone again, pen ready.

"Hello, can I speak to Professor Soyinka?' (A male voice)

"Who are you?", I asked?

"My name is Prince Awoditan Agbede of the school of journalism in Jos"

"What do you want"

The gentleman said, "We want him to give us the literary figurative expression that we're contradicting of"

I signed off this time. A few more calls from perfect strangers. "Would Soyinka be at the play? If so, which one?", "Did we have his permission?", "What were the aims and objectives?" When I finally made it out of bed, I discovered my strongest financial supporters for the Season, Legacy Realties had that day, published a 3/4 page colour advert of the Season's flier, in one of Nigeria's best read dailies, the Punch newspaper. It bore a picture of Soyinka, the plays and my phone numbers.

Wole Soyinka has had to live 7 decades with this strangeness. Little wonder he muses when he looks at people.