The Girl Whisperer

by laspapi

Gentle Streams, Battle-axes and Other Stories

as published by the Sunday Guardian of June 17

It’s interesting to observe that when some women feel they are the subjects of a perceived attack in the writings of the Whisperer, they come out fighting, heckling and clawing at the Whisperer’s eyes. Time after time, I have witnessed this phenomenon. Men, generally, do not react as virulently, perhaps not being as sensitive as women and probably thinking, when described as the equivalent of a canine’s offspring, “So he thinks I’m a dog? Big deal…!

This Whisperer has met all sorts in the journey through life and been acquainted with different kinds of women. In my study of females of different kinds and ages, I have met many older ones, stunning beauties at some point in the past, who even as age has sought to reduce the impact of their good looks, have all shared a secret with me. According to them, the one enduring trait for a woman, when beauty is gone and the elasticity of the skin cannot be taken for granted anymore, is the indomitable spirit of that woman. As young men depend on their strength, consider themselves immortal and take reckless, mind-boggling risks, so do some females regard their beauty, charm, and the power of a winning smile as traits that will last forever. It is not so. Change is the one constant as we all know, and the greatest beauty will fade. Ask Zsa Zsa Gabor.

As time flies, this Whisperer has learnt that the truth of that belief. There are different types of females, but the type that takes the Whisperer’s interest today is the “gentle stream” type; girls whom one just wants to sit next to, and take in their serenity. These females remind you of the soft sounds a gentle brook makes, as it gently laps at rocks by the shores, a soothing flow that can calm your deepest fears. Men will spend hours meditating here, regaining strength and vitality, able to face the world again, after the rejuvenation this kind of female gives.

This “gentle stream” might be bubbly, effervescent and carefree or she might be quiet, intense and serene, but the effect she has on the spirit is usually a calming one. For the Whisperer, the “gentle stream” female is his favourite kind, waters that remind you of a gentle English streamside as written in old literature texts or some quiet untainted stream in Idanre, a quiet Nigerian town. But this is a personal choice, there are as many choices as there are people.

This Whisperer considers the “gentle stream” complementary to his life, acting as the ying to his yang. The world is made up of a variety of women, however, and some females consider being a gentle stream like this, anathema to their souls. There are females who are unrepentant battleaxes, who give as good as they get and consider having the effect of a gentle “stream”, a sign of weakness. This girl carries a symbolic twin-edged battle axe and faces life’s problems (and sometimes her man) with the weapon readily at her disposal. For some men, the battleaxe is their favourite kind of female, one that is able to keep them on their toes, and at an alert state at all times.

The male equivalent of the Battleaxe is the Warlord. The same way some males crave for females with an edge is the way a certain kind of female seeks out the warlord, a man who is assertive and meets all obstacles on his way, head on. When this sort sees an obstruction, he does not pass its side but climbs over it.

No matter what our preferences our, this is to celebrate the beauty and joys of womanhood, the colour, women, both young and old, add to our lives everyday with their whims and caprices, their moods and their sweet scents. It’s a man’s world they say, but what a bland mono-chromic world it would be if there were no women around.