Kachifo Limited, the publishers of Farafina Magazine and Farafina books is proud to announce the release of the West African Paperback edition of Chris Abani’s new novel Becoming Abigail in Nigeria. It’s available in all major bookstores.

SYNOPSIS

Becoming Abigail is a coming-of-age story of a young girl who has been forced to grow. A girl whose childhood is lost in the shadow of a mother she doesn’t even know and whose innocence has been sacrificed on the altar of experience. Chris Abani in this novella gives us a graphic representation of Abigail’s sufferings, the inhumane treatment she undergoes in the hands of Peter who claims he’s taking her to London to give her a better life and the struggle to find her identity and establish it in her father’s heart.

The book explores human trade, sexual abuse, identity struggles, re-incarnation, love and death.

REVIEWS

“Moody,lyrical prose reminiscent of Toni Morrison’s Beloved… Though the fictional Abigail exists only on the pages of Abani’s novella, her character will seize the imagination of everyone who reads her story.”
• Essence Magazine

“Becoming Abigail,a spare yet voluptuous tale about a young girl’s escape from prostitution is so hypnotic that it begs to be read in one sitting… Abigail is sensitive, courageous, and teetering on the brink of madness. Effortlessly gliding between past and present. Chris Abani spins a timeless story of misfortuneand triumph.”

• Entertainment Weekly

“A darkly poetic investigation into the past’s deceptive hold over the present … Abani writes in dense, gorgeous. Abigail is not a creature of pity but inspiration.”

• The Nation

I recall writing I was senior script writer on the 4th Season of Mo Abudu's hit talk-show, Moments with Mo. Well, a conversation I had with the legendary bush doctor, Baba Willy, reminded me that I'd failed to mention I'm a producer for the show as well. I'm working directly with two extraordinary associate producers, Toyin Faj and Chris, the Senior producer- Sebari Diette-Spiff, two other producers and a line of Associate Producers.

'They ask us, how we do it....'

The Girl Whisperer

as published by

The Sunday Guardian of July 6

SOUL TIES

According to a theory I once heard, there are other people (or at least one person) out there that you are tied to even if you are in what appears to be the perfect relationship. The way it’s described, they say if you have been intimate with another person, someone you really ‘loved’ at one time, and there is a separation for any reason and for any length of years, you are still in some manner, tied to that person or people. This is different from you finding your soul-mate as some of us say of spouses and long-term partners. The soul-tie is a pull that is as strong, and probably more damaging because of its ability to reach out from the past and touch, often adversely, relationships in the present. For those who have long boasted that they have found the perfect relationship, it can be a disconcerting revelation to discover that your partner might in some way still be ‘connected’ to another, whether or not he or she talks of this person. This might be a good time to ask your great loves whether they are soul-tied. Apparently, according to the school of thought, you feel the connection periodically, it ebbs and flows like the tide, like the pull of the moon, and even though the person the connection is with, might be continents away, the link is never broken.

Now, for the Whisperer, this is a convenient way of saying you still find another person attractive outside your relationship. While this is a natural phenomenon (anyone who says there is only one attractive person in the world is lying through the skin of his or her teeth), the unnatural thing is to have the mind-set that because it is a ‘soul-tie’, there really is nothing you can do about it. This kind of connection then, is almost a viral thing, an infection you can never get rid off, that raises its head even in the midst of your happiness with other people.

The Whisperer says if you have found happiness with someone you intend to share your long-term future with, and you intend to stay with that one person, you must sit down and think, plan how you will preserve what you have. Oh yes, love has strategy too. Ask anyone who has doggedly pursued a prospective partner for months or across continents. The way forward in a relationship you intend to hold on to, is to ask if you are willing to give up everyone else for this one person (if you believe in exclusive relationships). If you do not intend to give up the ‘pleasures’ of the past, then you need not make any further plans and you may live life as you wish. However, if it is your intention to stay true, it might be a good thing to make a decision that you will walk away from all other forms of ‘temptation’, soul tied or otherwise. Often, we ourselves allow room for instability in our relationships, allowing encroachment by other factors (and people) and then we blame the difficulties that are sure to arise, on circumstances beyond our control. If you do not show discipline and a willingness to protect what you have found, your ‘soul-ties’ will destroy your happiness.

You must understand that the human memory is a wonderful thing, just ask all the parents who have at some point told their children that in their days, they topped their classes in school. Often, the memory is tinged with a rosy hue, and truths are often altered. Same thing with our recollections of the soul tie. We forget the reason there was a separation, painting this person in magnificent hues, the scent of the person’s perfume, the understanding, the laughter and happiness, and then meet the ‘tie’ five or ten years on and remember only the good times, and in foolishness are willing to jeopardise whatever beauty we have found. Life is short they say, and some are willing to live dangerously.

The soul-tie is one you must watch out for. This is an off-shoot of the now world-famous law of attraction propounded by Nigerians, known as “Okafor’s Law” where it is said that you can be ‘intimate’ again with someone you were once intimate with, no matter how long it has been since you last saw each other and no matter who either of you might be with.

The acceptance that there will always be Soul-Tie(s) is an acceptance that your relationship will always be in mortal danger. When you enter a serious relationship, you must ask yourself if you are willing to let go of the past. There will always be attractive people, in existence in the past and the future but the secret to success in relationships is to be like the aborigine in Australia who would choose a particular kangaroo for its meat and then set off in pursuit of the kangaroo. It didn’t matter whether in the course of this pursuit, slower or bigger kangaroos passed by. A decision had been made and would not be varied until the kangaroo being pursued dropped from exhaustion. It is a state of the mind. A relationship that will succeed needs those in it to pursue their mutual happiness, not looking from side to side to observe distractions. This can be applied to all spheres of life as well. Make a decision and stick with it, if you can. If for some reason, you cannot stick to your resolution, do not blame it on the soul-tie. Your resolve fell apart because you were weak, because you lusted after another person, nothing psychic about it.

Sometimes, fidelity even to those we most love, can be a hard thing, an obstacle race, but the longer you keep at it, the better you get. The Whisperer’s advice- start jumping the hurdles, life’s got plenty of it, but your muscles will soon get used to leaping over temptation.

The Girl Whisperer

as published by the Sunday Guardian

of June 29

They Take No Prisoners

I sat with the beautiful television show presenter, Mo Abudu, a few days ago at a meeting with her producers and other members of her staff and during a break, an associate producer’s conversation drifted to that special cadre of humans who thrive in negativity. She spoke of people who are comfortable with dwelling in that eerie twilight zone where half-truths, malformed intentions and outright deceit lay in wait, those who have no reservations about misinforming the world where others are concerned and whose aversion to success is often palpable when you meet them. Their mission is simple, ‘obliterate all traces of success in others and at whatever cost’.

I sat and listened quietly, a collision at my weekly Friday football game which caused three bruised ribs and an injured collar-bone, forcing me to curb all superfluous movement. The truth of what she said rang true in my heart, for I too, have met these people who take no prisoners.

Success, in whatever form is attractive and brings them like moths to a flame, and then they single-mindedly pursue their mission. Annihilation. Mo Abudu and many others like her are prime targets- Any combination of success, talent and persistence can awaken the demons asleep in those who seek wars even where there are none.

In my mind, I thought of all the ways I had sought to keep far from me all those who give no quarter in battle. My thoughts drifted, remembering the many doors I had closed and fortified so I would not let the dark army in, aspiring relationships I had shut down to protect myself from dangerous situations. I have since honed my skills at keeping them far from me, but still, sometimes, the human factor causes dangerous mistakes to be made.

But all these were before the advent of face book, probably the largest meeting point for humanity now. Face Book, a web-based interface created by a bored college student for his college community and now used by millions of people all over the world is one of the most intrusive inventions ever made by man. It allows access and provides a forum for finding many old friends (as well as meeting new ones). I can testify that great, great friends have risen from the many places they had gone to hibernate and have shaken the dust off memories. Some of these meetings have been surreal. ‘Vinuyon Ramos wants to make you her friend’, the page says and you are thrown in a time-capsule, the years peeling off, faster and faster as the mind swirls, remembering true, true friendship and relieving great, great memories. ..George Mashigo, Olumide Laniyan, Tokunbo Moradeyo, Taofik Longe, Yemi Ayeni...The times when looks were innocent and no one disliked you because you appeared to be doing well.

So the virtual device known as face book is both a blessing and a curse. Time after time, I have seen people I dreamed with when I was a teenager, people with whom I had planned how we would make our own impressions on the world, contact me. I have allowed them access into my new life as they have allowed me into theirs and it is a safe place to be, still.

My earlier suspicion when I first saw face-book, and I have been known to yield to conspiracy theories from time to time (aliens landed in the town of Roswell in the U.S.A. in 1964, J.F.K. was killed by the Mafia) was that it was created by the secret service of some country. It was too interested in everything and everyone who called you a friend could ‘see’ who you were talking to at any particular time, where you spent time and the notes you were leaving for others. People could ‘tag’ you in photos, adding your name to pictures you had no idea had been posted on the internet, and making you better-known than you might aspire to, at times.

There are many people out there who will never be able to run for political positions in the future because of the amount of stuff on them on the world-wide-web. One click of the finger and you see statements he made, not worthy of a ten-year old child’s train of thought or pictures taken of him while drunk at a party and tagged by a ‘friend’ just in case the identity of the fellow whose head was half in the toilet bowl with a bottle of whiskey in one hand, was in question.

For those who believe, like I do, in the mantra of the boss of Intel, that ‘only the paranoid survive’, there are many things to be wary about concerning face book, but it is addictive for many others , and they have withdrawal symptoms when they cannot ‘change their status’ or ‘scroll’ through the lives of other people.

The great positive side to this forum that allows others to be voyeurs in your affairs, is that it can be a source of great happiness too- the long-lost friend, the flash-back to memories when the world was a nicer place and smiles were genuine, long-forgotten emotions that showed the real you, and not the veneer worn now so as to protect one from the wild dogs that bay at the windows at midnight.

Still in all this, the Whisperer advices caution. The mistake that is made in relation to predators is that because we cannot see them, we imagine they are no longer there. Often, they still are, only they are quieter now, lurking, looking for gaps in the fence. The stakes that are being played for might be much higher than you imagine. Sometimes it is a wise thing to have a siege mentality.

The Girl Whisperer

as published by

The Sunday Guardian of June 22

Cat Among The Pigeons

I like women.

I like their thoughts, their form, their beauty and natural grace, and the way a confident woman looks around a crowded room. I like the waft of perfume that follows a woman as she walks past you on a quiet road. There is a kind of woman you see coming down a path and you are fairly certain she’ll be using good perfume. I have been known to wait so she can pass me and I can inhale the heady (and probably expensive) perfume she’ll be using. Cheap perfumes don’t have that effect, I’m afraid, and after the first couple of hours of mixing with perspiration and the sun, well...it smells cheap. For the young and aspiring, invest in a good bottle. If it’s cheaply priced, it probably is. I like women a lot. I think my mother would have appreciated such a declaration, considering it a very healthy one. As a sixteen year old, my mother looked at me one day and identified traits of a Whisperer, but maybe even she did not know how true her intuition was then.

There are some people on the other hand who would have a problem with such a declaration of interest in women by this Whisperer, considering it a fore-warning of unserious intentions. However, it should be noted by the sceptics in this ‘school of thought’ that I did not say I wanted a relationship with all women. Liking the vast majority is enough, really. I spoke with my editor one day and he congratulated me on the popularity of the column. Still, there was a well-to-do woman who said she skipped the whispering page every time she got this newspaper. I knew the reason why; the Whisperer had dwelt accurately on whatever situation she was in and had told the truth. I do not write to pronounce judgement but I will tell the truth as I see it. Sooner or later, you will read the Whisperer. My new friend, Sholape wrote in to grudgingly commend me on the accuracy of my observations. Here’s to her and ladies like her who face-up to the truth when they see it. One of the aims of my writings is to keep women out of trouble; I really hope I have been able to do so.At some point in life, a great number of men are like cats amongst pigeons, stalking, walking with stealth, sniffing the ground, acting as if they are not interested in the prey, but then pouncing without announcing their intentions. At one point in time, even the Whisperer was like this, a cat amongst the pigeons.

It is the unwise woman who does not recognise a cat when they see one because these cats are easy to identify. Firstly and most importantly, they are cats and they have no business where pigeons gather. There is something predatory about their languid movements and you should not disregard your natural intuition in this matter.It is a very foolish pigeon that thinks it can move faster than a cat and the underestimation of the speed of a cat has proven to be the end of many silly birds. What will be left at the end of the encounter are a few feathers fluttering to the ground, and the cat walking away, cleaning its whiskers and its paws after a good meal.

As an experiment, the next time you take the time out to lean over a balcony, or sit leisurely in a park (at the rate the government of Lagos is going, we’ll soon be able to do so, hopefully) look for a cat and study the manner it watches everything and everyone else without seeming to do so. You’ll be more wary of kissing a cat the next time one introduces himself at a party.The cat has no interest in the success of a relationship but seeks his own ends and once he gains entrance to the gathering of pigeons, fixes his attention on a weak pigeon even though he appears to be disinterested. ‘Weak’ in this regard might translate as vulnerable or naive. This cat plays around with the emotions of the prey, able to say exactly what the pigeon needs to hear and the trap is set. By the way, there are many female cats too, looking for male pigeons. I have met them, and in many a back alley, there are wounded cats, licking their wounds and nursing thoughts of vengeance against the Whisperer. Join the line, I say.

As an aside, when this column started about 15 months ago, an acquaintance I met on the web and based in England wrote to let me know her ‘fear’ for the columns that would be written by the Whisperer was that they would deal mainly with issues affecting Nigerian women. That has niggled at me for a long while. Firstly, an American or English writer does not apologise for talking about Manhattan or the East End. Why do I have to tread warily over discussing Surulere or the female trader at Idumota? Secondly, women are the same worldwide, basically. Language differs and the environment plays a part in outlook but the fundamentals are the same. The earth, more than ever, is one global community sharing ideals. Fela Anikulapo Kuti, the Nigerian King of Afro-Beat in whatever form it can be found, had a song for that kind of thinking. What we need to do is blue-tooth some smartness around.

The Whisperer came out of Nigeria, and he’ll be looking at women from all over the world with the confident eye that the females of his land are some of the most intelligent and beautiful in spirit, that ever walked the face of the earth.

May their wisdom increase.

laspapi is in the process of shooting a documentary on inner city violence focusing on young females. The scope will cover sexual as well as physical and emotional abuse. The project was commissioned by the Ajegunle Community Project, one of the 5 Non-Governmental Organizations that sponsored the V Monologues- The Nigerian Story.
In the picture, I show off my camera. He is named after the Lagos slang which means 'to comprehend'- Ja-si

laspapi sings the blues...

'Ain't no sunshine when she's gone, when she's gone away...'

Photo- June 18. 5pm. The office.