VIRTUAL RELATIONSHIPS, REAL ENEMIES...

I've been blogging since December 2005. It started slowly but I gradually got the hang of it and made my space my own.

I have come across many other bloggers since then, some I consider as real as any member of my family, if not more; others great friends, and then there are those I nod to as I pass. On blogville, blogworld, the blogosphere, the blogrealm, planet blog, we all know each other. "Hello", "good morning", how was your day?" and all that. Civility.

Real friendships have been made and even though we rarely admit to it, real loves as well.

We know some bloggers that are our friends for life. We know if we saw them today, we'd take them for drinks, let them holiday in our homes, lend them money, loan our cars to them...

My theory now: If such bonds can be made here, it means the opposite must be true as well- Real enemies can be made from virtual relationships. We have heard of the onslaught on londonbuki's mother, the concerted attack on Storm a while back, and many other instances. That faceless band of malevolent commentators is the "RONIN", not to be mistaken for the normal, easy-going and balanced commentators who cannot be bothered to blog and therefore come on as anonymous. Some of my favourite commentators are anonymous.

The RONIN is different, a band with no central head, making its members more dangerous. Often they travel in packs and descend upon a situation, snarling, tearing, foaming at the mouth... not seeking to be constructive, but pulling down. Some might have their own blogs but prefer to be "anonymous" or "other" when evil is afoot. For these reason, many bloggers now have "comment moderation". Stray members of the pack come onto my blog from time to time but have not found room in yet, to cause havoc as a whole band.

Today, I found a female member of the Ronin, skulking on my blog, used words directed at me, meant to be derogatory in relation to a series I write for the Guardian Newspapers, "The Girl Whisperer". I wondered why she chose to use those words, for many have written, not always in agreement but they have tried to be decent about it, but then I remembered as I deleted the offensive comment, "there are very bad people out there, and the virtual world is not exempted".

For those of us who disagree with each other atimes, it's a world of free opinions and anyone has a right to be contrary. However, we must never allow it to get personal, or allow it to become an issue of camps, "the East Coast" and "the West Coast". One may prefer a certain set of people, it's the freedom of association, but civility to others is important too.

Therefore, a toast: Here's to the beautiful people I have met on blogger. One last word before we say "down the hatches though"; don't be complacent, an on-line foe may transfer venom to the real world.

Baba (President Obasanjo) is gone now and as an elderly gentleman said to me, he will be judged by posterity.

There were many (including laspapi) who complained of the hardships caused by his policies, but many also said he was sincere in his aim to steer Nigeria aright.

For a man thought to be highly insensitive and draconian, he, it was, who appointed El-Rufai, the man that "demolished" Abuja back into the beauty it was always meant to be, Dora Akinluyi of Nafdac who saved the lives of millions of Nigerians and Soludo who gave meaning to banking and many others.

He didn't get the security of the people right and under him many died who might not have if the police had been better trained and armed. Electricity was also never sorted under Obj. But this 2-time leader left footprints on the sands of time, footprints many will look at closely and judge for many years to come.We will know in a few years if history should be kind to him. He was the first Nigerian President I ever shook hands with, but also one I had no qualms in calling names when I felt he deserved it. What is a "public servant" after all, if not someone you can call names?

laspapi has two words for him as he goes.

"Adieu Obasanjo".

BLOGGERS WITH FUNMI IYANDA

Was informed a few minutes ago by a very apologetic Sekinat, an associate producer on New Dawn, that the Funmi Iyanda recording on Bloggers has been postponed due to a closure of the NTA Studios intended for that use. The new date will be announced shortly.

The Girl Whisperer

The Lady is a Tramp

as published by The Guardian on Sunday June 3.

There’s the old Walt Disney cartoon, The Lady and The Tramp, but my title’s a bit different. What happens when the lady you love, the girl of your dreams, the one you spend your days dreaming of and your nights fantasizing about; what happens when she’s really a tramp and will go with anything or anyone that asks her? The undoing of some men is that they fall hard, for a female that would be considered easy and extremely generous by many other men. Despite the remonstrance of friends, family and well-wishers, they pour unappreciated affection, gifts and adulation in the direction of a Tramp.
It’s an obsessive fixation and proves like is said that “everybody is somebody’s fool”. Unfortunately, being a fool for a tramp can only result in pain for the person who has this misguided affection. There are no happy endings here.

I’ll bring to mind the story of the man who rescued a snake he found near the point of death. He took the snake home, fed it and nursed it back to health. After a few months of this care, the snake regained its health and strength. One day, the rescuer came back home and stretched out his hand to pat the snake on the head but got bitten on the hand as he did so. He yelled in astonishment and pain, tears in his eyes, “you bit me after all I’ve done for you?”. The snake replied, “I don’t know what you mean, I’m a snake, that is what I do, I bite!”.

The man who takes a tramp in and expects anything different is sadly deluded as “a man (or woman) in this case cannot give what he does not have”. The female in the equation is unable to control herself, regards affection and tender love as a weakness and a wise man would find other appreciative females for any outpouring of love he might wish to display.
The Whisperer wishes it known that the tramp can come from any social class; a wealthy one, the middleclass or a poverty stricken background. Being loose is not always on account of having little or no money. The default setting in her genetic make-up is to be a tramp, and a man who thinks he can be her knight on a white charger and save her from herself will learn the true meanings of the words, “misery and pain”.
The rehabilitation of such a female had better be left to psychologists who are paid to roam the minds of such wonders of the world. A man who feels it is his calling in life to rescue such a female will learn the hard way.

By the way, predators can smell a tramp ten leagues off, and will home in on her like heat-seeking missiles after a fighter plane. They will find her and hover permanently around making the life of a man with serious intentions a miserable one.
How can you tell if the lady you like is a tramp? That’s an easy one. Firstly, no matter how much you love her, you will always have the feeling that she is slightly bewildered at your love which she will probably lack the capacity to return. All the men that surround her and call her phone at 2am will be passed off as calling in respect of church meetings or work matters.

You will know in your heart you are being defrauded. If you choose to stay in such a relationship, you need psycho-analysis too. This Whisperer has met a few tramps, and even if they drive the best cars and wear the nicest perfumes, don’t be led by the nose.
Is there any such thing as a retired tramp? I'd be the last person to say there is no redemption for a certain kind of woman. The world is made up of many sorts, which is why it is such a wonderful place. All I’m saying is, don’t allow yourself be used as a specimen in nature’s experiment.

Home(Lagos)-based bloggers interested in appearing on the National Network programme, New Dawn with Funmi Iyanda, who's a blogger herself, to discuss the blogging phenomenon in Nigeria, on Thursday, June 7, should get in touch with laspapi through this blog or by e-mailing laspapi@yahoo.com

SUNSET OVER 'GIDI

picture copyright-laspapi

NAIJA BLOGGERS- THE BOOK

The call continues to all Nigerian bloggers, worldwide to become a part of An anthology of the greatest works of Nigerian Bloggers-

A book called Naija bloggers Vol 1.

Nigerian Bloggers around the globe are requested to send in their stories for publication in a physical anthology, the first of its kind by any group of bloggers on any continent.

The categories are anecdotes, short stories, poetry, prose, drama and essays but there is room for as many sub-categories as are sent in as the book will also serve as a platform where artistes can showcase architectural/interior/exterior designs, photography, paintings as well as fashion and textile designs. Submissions are therefore welcome on any topic whether covered here or not.

Bloggers may submit up to 5 entries on any topic or issue but no blogger may have more than 3 works published. The Copyright of Articles remains the possession of the original writers.

The profiles of writers will be added to the anthology (those who wish to remain anonymous may do so, however)

Royalties will be discussed with selected contributors before publication.

The intention is to publish worldwide in stages, first stage being Nigeria and to make the book available all over the world.

It is expected that a compilation of the best of Nigerian minds on the internet will make fantastic reading, show a new and much needed side of Nigerians to the entire world, as well as give access to those who are not internet-inclined.

Submissions should be sent to nigerianbloggers@yahoo.com not later than Friday, June the 15th 2007 stating date of blogging and blogname/address.

Please note that submission does not automatically guarantee the publication of all or any of the works. The final selection will be made by respected Nigerian writers including Jahman Anikulapo, Editor of the Guardian on Sunday.

Kindly link this post on your blog.

co-ordinator- laspapi

ps. Comments by some bloggers reveal hesitancy in being part of the anthology on account of a lack of confidence in their own writing abilities. There are many brilliant Nigerian bloggers out there. Stand up and be counted.

Read previous comments on this post here.