Sunday, June 03, 2007

The Girl Whisperer

The Lady is a Tramp

as published by The Guardian on Sunday June 3.

There’s the old Walt Disney cartoon, The Lady and The Tramp, but my title’s a bit different. What happens when the lady you love, the girl of your dreams, the one you spend your days dreaming of and your nights fantasizing about; what happens when she’s really a tramp and will go with anything or anyone that asks her? The undoing of some men is that they fall hard, for a female that would be considered easy and extremely generous by many other men. Despite the remonstrance of friends, family and well-wishers, they pour unappreciated affection, gifts and adulation in the direction of a Tramp.
It’s an obsessive fixation and proves like is said that “everybody is somebody’s fool”. Unfortunately, being a fool for a tramp can only result in pain for the person who has this misguided affection. There are no happy endings here.

I’ll bring to mind the story of the man who rescued a snake he found near the point of death. He took the snake home, fed it and nursed it back to health. After a few months of this care, the snake regained its health and strength. One day, the rescuer came back home and stretched out his hand to pat the snake on the head but got bitten on the hand as he did so. He yelled in astonishment and pain, tears in his eyes, “you bit me after all I’ve done for you?”. The snake replied, “I don’t know what you mean, I’m a snake, that is what I do, I bite!”.

The man who takes a tramp in and expects anything different is sadly deluded as “a man (or woman) in this case cannot give what he does not have”. The female in the equation is unable to control herself, regards affection and tender love as a weakness and a wise man would find other appreciative females for any outpouring of love he might wish to display.
The Whisperer wishes it known that the tramp can come from any social class; a wealthy one, the middleclass or a poverty stricken background. Being loose is not always on account of having little or no money. The default setting in her genetic make-up is to be a tramp, and a man who thinks he can be her knight on a white charger and save her from herself will learn the true meanings of the words, “misery and pain”.
The rehabilitation of such a female had better be left to psychologists who are paid to roam the minds of such wonders of the world. A man who feels it is his calling in life to rescue such a female will learn the hard way.

By the way, predators can smell a tramp ten leagues off, and will home in on her like heat-seeking missiles after a fighter plane. They will find her and hover permanently around making the life of a man with serious intentions a miserable one.
How can you tell if the lady you like is a tramp? That’s an easy one. Firstly, no matter how much you love her, you will always have the feeling that she is slightly bewildered at your love which she will probably lack the capacity to return. All the men that surround her and call her phone at 2am will be passed off as calling in respect of church meetings or work matters.

You will know in your heart you are being defrauded. If you choose to stay in such a relationship, you need psycho-analysis too. This Whisperer has met a few tramps, and even if they drive the best cars and wear the nicest perfumes, don’t be led by the nose.
Is there any such thing as a retired tramp? I'd be the last person to say there is no redemption for a certain kind of woman. The world is made up of many sorts, which is why it is such a wonderful place. All I’m saying is, don’t allow yourself be used as a specimen in nature’s experiment.

39 comments:

Waffarian said...

"All I’m saying is, don’t allow yourself be used as a specimen in nature’s experiment".


heheheheh, that was funny, well I agree, in cases where the woman is a "nymphomaniac", help has to be got through psychologists (by the way this is a health issue and should be regarded as such).In other cases, it might be the lure of a hard body, good sex,(where the woman's needs are taken care of), or just the excitement of having a different partner. However, I do believe that in Nigeria we are too quick to call women "ashawo". When is the woman really a tramp? A single woman that has an active sex life, changes partners quite often in the hopes of finding the right one, is this person a tramp? or is it the married woman who cheats on her partner with different partners? Now I am confused, I guess my question is : "when can somebody officially be called a tramp?". I remmeber those days, boys would call certain girls "loose"(but still sleep with them oh!), now that I am older, I think that term "loose" is used rather too freely in that country. A woman who decides to have an active sex life should be allowed to do so, as far as she is not hurting anybody in the process. People like that should please consider "open relationships" and forget about "till death do us part".

Idemili said...

Hmmmmm...I feel a bit iffy about this one. No I am not a tramp. LOL, I jst feel that it could be better tackled, seen from another side. Despite your statement about the redemption of this 'kind of woman' I feel your standpoint it a bit too unforgiving.

I shall be back during the week, work beckons. I might go on a bit.

Refinedone said...

Hmmm I await the whisperers respons to your question waffarian..

Till then, what I'll like to say is and I think i have said before...don't be fool about the equality of the sexes...

A man may sleep with "a singel woman with a active sex life, changes partners quite often in hope of finding the right one" as you say ... but most man will not marry her (IMHO)

Waffarian said...

Refinedone, isn't that the everlasting "fear" that haunts Nigerian women, "who will marry you?". It is not every woman's lot in life to be married, refinedone. Some woman actually live happy and healthy lives without husbands, some are even mothers. Yes, I dare to think that in this age and time, we are equal to men. It is our basic human right,no human being is above another, not in terms of sex, religion, class or ethnicity. We are all equal. I do exercise my right, but ofcourse not every woman dares...... It is a tough road to take in life.

Anonymous said...

waffarian, go and see refinedone's answer to you.lol.
http://refinedone.wordpress.com/

~Mimi~ said...

Very well written and its true, anyone who thinks it is their mission in life to 'rescue' someone from themselves is set up for a lot of heartache. However to make a balance, I will be expecting a write-up of the same structure on the Man-Tramp...Yes you heard me!

Meanwhile I couldnt help but notice that in the Bloggers' Book Post, there used to be a line saying 'no publications after a certain date can be submitted'. Does that mean one can send in articles written up until the 15th? Just wondering.

Refinedone said...

It may not be every woman’s desires to marry, but it is most women…to use the words “Lot in life” is abit derogatory….but I will let that sly. (As if to marry are all there hopes and dreams, and what if?)
As the world is now, some women, not a majority as they would like to believe choose to be single mothers or just have active sex lives and no long term, exclusive relationships.
… I am sorry but I speck form one who have met many a women that have behaved and spoken in the manner you are talking about in there younger days, only to regret in the winter of there lives and wish they could turn it round and do over.
There is a generation of women who actually think they as smarter than there mothers and that they have the answers…and they may well do!
But if a woman thinks she wants to do what men does (as in active sex life ) it is not about what ppl will say, but is about what she says to herself when no one is there…late at note. She should be ready to get the same reaction as a man that behaves in that manner would be treated.
The definition of a tramp for a woman and that of a man would be different… why fight it!
Why would most women not say exactly how many sexual partners they have had to there present partner or husband…. But the guy would not have a problem saying ….does that not tell you something?
Women are not men… I did not say less or better.. We just are not wired the same.
If women have to pick something from men … why should it be the slackest thing!

Refinedone said...

@ Anon...For one who can not, but hide behind a mask and not stand by there opinion... please SHUT UP!!

Adults have debate and disagree,it should not get personal or rude.
Debate the POINT!

excuse my manners @ Laspapi, but ppl that like to start trouble need to be nipped in the bud before they run there mouths ragged! and cause disharmony.

Anonymous said...

Another great one from the whisperer. Thanks again

C'est Moi said...

Refine done: "Women are not men", I agree with this. Nature agrees with this.

"We are wired differently", this just sounds like an excuse to seperate men from their philandering and "dog in heat" attitude to sex and women and to somehow suggest that it is more acceptable. It isn't. Gender notwithstanding.

Tramp is an androgenous term and applies to both sexes. I wouldn't expect my partner to be a saint, neither would I expect him to be Hugh Hefner.

I guess what I am trying to say is that EVERYONE has to take responsibility for their actions.

Nigerian women really need to wake up and realise that their existence cannot be justified by the men in their lives. Its the only way they will ever be able to level the playing field.

Anonymous said...

waffarian, here is the post dedicated to you and your kind, from refinedone.

http://refinedone.wordpress.com/


I really wish some women would stop fooling themselves. We live in a time where the truth is now up side down…we have become so cultured and advanced that we think we can question nature… yes! Nature. God made, God created, God Ordained Some things are so just because that is how it is made…there are exception to the rule, but that is what they are exceptions.I love getting in to dialogue with women that think they have all the answers… single, independent, up-wardly mobile and in there early to mid 20’s.They think they have all the answers… and because they may be successful in one area of there life, now think that is all life is about… money and academic or career success…That is all good and I admire that and should be celebrated, but to deny that you are nurtures and love beings, drawn to companionship is a lie!

It is sad that, in these day a lot of people are being raised in a single parent homes, some men are so iresponsible that girls grow up not knowing what is it to be look after, lovingly protected. Instead they grow up guarded, wounded , scared emotionally and do not want to have anything to do with a man. They now feel like every man should be treated like dirt… To be used and dumped for there own sexual pleasure… (you are just hurting your self more) Some of these women feel, because of what they must have see or bad experiences by the re mothers or other women while growing up now don’t have value for a man( who can blame them) But truth is truth no matter how distorted some have made it.

Because of that they are resentful towards men and refuse to appreciate the difference in the sexes, the responsibility and /or ability. In this PC generation the devil has told a big lie and some have bought into it. Hook line and sinker!

They say why should we marry?

So what if I have multiple partners, don’t men do the same?

I am using them not the other way round

When and if I want to have a child I will ask a gay friend to help be a sperm donor or go to a sperm bank.

I do not need any man in my life telling what to do!

My child does not have to have father.

I am financially capable

Women make better lovers

What do I need a man for?

Oh! Woman you have lost your essence

Created you were to give balance

To add fragrance.

However, you have been lead astray by what you see

By the hurts you experienced, that I never intended for you

Come back home daughter

And claim your crown and garment of honour, dignity and of beauty

Not just a form of outer adorning but of internal too

Oh! Daughter come back and be that lone star which shines so bright

Illuminating the path that we may go…

Of a high standard and grace…Ah! GRACE

DO you still know what that word means, daugthers of today?

A tramp said...

Laspapi, have you ever heard what someone said, that “THE ONLY CHASTE WOMAN IS THE WOMAN WHO HAS NOT BEEN CHASED”?

The truth of the matter is that plain-looking women (read: ugly) can never be tramps even if they wanted to. They don’t just have the right stuff to attract men.

As for men, forget it. Men complain about tramps being tramps, but they would be the first to fall in line when she is around, competing for her attention.

Whether you like it or not, tramps have the best of many worlds.

IJEOMA said...

@Refinedone..

I will never deny that there are biological differences between men and women. However it is also foolhardy for anyone to ignore how some socitites have exaggerated such differences such that women have become second class citizens. AS SUCH, SOCITIES HAVE TRIED TO REGULATE THE SEXUALITIES OF WOMEN. If things were so naturally ordained then why all the ridiciulous customs and laws that work to manipulate and surmount womens sexuality. We are told, that we are not "to want". That we will be "wanted" AT HIS PLEASURE. Well REFINEDONE, i am here to tell you that while my fellow sisters may still be trapped in that internalised patriachy of old. Some of have awakened. SOme of us have been sexually actualised. Some of us have thrown open that cage,which you and your brethren have worked so hard to build.

Tramp and all this derogatory words, are instruments used by society to complicate and hinder womens sexuality. So that a woman is torn between her desires, and what she has been told she should desire through socialisation.

According to your words. I am a tramp.. And no man will ever want to marry me. Well Dude.. A MAN SHOULD ONLY BE SO LUCKY.

P.S
PARDON THE SPELLING ERRORS. SHOULD THERE BE ANY

Waffarian said...

heheheheh, na wah oh! I have been missing all this action?

@anonymous: Thank you jare. Thanks for the heads up!

@refinedone: I'll take your comment first. You say you have met a lot of women in their "winter" years who regret the lifestyle they lead as young women (I am assuming they all ended up without husbands, children etc). My dear, I have met more married women lamenting about the miserable lives they lead as wives, stuck in meaningless, loveless marraiges.

Also, you talk about a generation of women "who actually think they are smarter than their mothers and that they have the answers…". We appear smarter because we have education and CHOICES. We can choose to get married or not, we can choose to have children or not (thank God for contraceptives, condoms,etc) our mothers did not have the same choices that we have today.

That being said, your bone of contention with me is the fact that I believe men and women should be equal. You say I am "fooling" myself for believing that. Refinedone, you remind me of a character in the book "the colour purple", a woman who was physically abused by her own husband, adviced her brother to do the same to his wife. Why?( I ll leave you to ponder on that question, or better still, read the book). Don't we take enough crap from the society? from men? Is it not enough that first one is oppressed not only as a woman but as a black woman in society? Isn't that enough, do we have to do it to each other? You are able to read and write today because of women that believed in equal rights for men and woman. By saying today that we are "fooling" ourselves, you have made a mockery of their cause which, if I might remind you, is the only reason you have an education today.

Finally you say "The definition of a tramp for a woman and that of a man would be different… why fight it!" Why fight it? We fight because it is wrong, we fight everyday to be treated the same, we fight to be given equal rights and opportunities, we fight because we can fight.

I'll be back later to comment on your other post.

Refinedone said...

@ Ijema.. First I did not call you a tramp , for the record.

SOme of us have been sexually actualised. Some of us have thrown open that cage,which you and your brethren have worked so hard to build.
.... I am very happy for you. Stand for what you believe is rigth for you, I have no problem with that...
All I am saying is dont say others that are not thinking as you do are TRAPPED!

Refinedone said...

@Waffy...please feel free to fight and be what ever you wany to.

Yes women have be had to fight for alot...the right to vote, own property, divorce.. and so on and I am all for that...ah! I forget an education too.

Women have been mistreated..and I am all behind empowering women, building self esteem and confidence so we agreed so far.

Women are wired differently, we react to didferent things, our passions abilities and strengths are diferent too( not better or worst)

That still does not mean the things men do ...to other women, we should do too...why?

Why should we try and prove ourseleves to the men folk by out doing them in CRAP!

Why should we loose the essence of US to prove we are better.. thats what I mean by figth!

Married or single we all have issues... so there nothing there. Life is about what we do today and how it effect our future.

... so all i'm saying is think about what you do now, for future sake of your self worth.

@ Anon...It's bush men that figth and exchange words without trying to achieve anything POSITIVE ... I dialouge.

Waffy we dont have to agree... we just have to make sure, what ever we stand for we do it with full confidence..I have my stand and you have yours.

Only our future will determine what road was the right path, that is where destiny comes in... so travel your road and I'll travel mine...

Waffarian said...

Refinedone, now to your second post, the one anonymous kindly pasted here.

First of all, why do you assume we are all in our twenties? The fact that we do not come from the same school of thought does not mean that we are all younger than you.

Secondly, I do not resent men, why do you believe that because I want to be equal with men, I do not have a man? You think that they are no men out there that would not appreciate a woman who is willing to stand side by side with him as partners? Nobody is denying the fact that we "are drawn to companionship"(as you put it), all I am saying is that a woman who chooses not to have a "companion" should not be looked down on. You say its a "lie", its not possible for a human being to want to spend his/her life without a partner?

You also say:"Because of that they are resentful towards men and refuse to appreciate the difference in the sexes, the responsibility and /or ability. In this PC generation the devil has told a big lie and some have bought into it. Hook line and sinker!"

The only lie here is the lie that has been told for centuries, that you, woman, are inferior to man. Is that the ability and responsibility you talk about? The ability to "appreciate" our inferiority to men? Yes, a mighty lie has been told, but not by the devil, a lie has been told by society and yes, woman, you bought it hook, line and sinker!

Kpakpando said...

Please explain how one can spot a "tramp" because the main thing I got from your post is that she basically sleeps around. And unless you're said tramp's vagina you actually have no idea who she's sleeping with. People are so quick to ascribe the "whore" or "loose" label to certain women, when in actuality they have no idea what the sexual habits of the woman is.

Girl Whisperer,
I've said this before and I still maintain that I think men like being lied to. They'd rather hear what they believe should be than the actual truth. This posts just reinforces what I've always thought.

Refinedone said...

Ok! @ Waffy

I think you need to be corrected about somethings...I did not dedicate my recent post to You, as a reply to your comment...It may have insipired me but, was not to YOU!...I have written similar things in other post on my blog... we both have disagreed and sometimes agree on similar topics on other blogs... so why would I want to have a personal attack at you now?

ANON... YOU ARE WHAT WE CALL IN THE UK a SH*T STIRER!!! AND I will not get invovled in that crassness that happens in blogville..Anon I am ALL WOMAN, CONFIDENT, WHOLE OF A SOUND MIND AND WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY TO CLASSY FOR THAT!
I think I have said all I have to about this matter...if you'll like to continue this.. please feel free to email me... and I'll talk to you via IM oR even call you..( i guess you are in the UK too)

Till I hear from you Waffy ... Later..

Waffarian said...

@Refinedone, unfortunately, I do not live in the Uk, we could have continued this discussion over a cup of tea or coffee! So untill our next debate, take care!

Sherri said...

sounds like the all too familiar whining/ranting of a jilted man.
what makes a tramp but the incessant lust and lure of men.
ever wonder why? could it be a coping mechanism? as a result of past hurts or the "dont put all ur eggs in 1basket syndrome"
i believe we all need our mind renewed,the only shackles keeping us women down are the ones in our minds. we remain shackled when we become cynical and bitter about inequalities,we remain shackled when we settle for the mediocre life with a dud(pun intended)we remain shackled when we measure our worth by the man in our life,we remain shackled when we hurt each other with gossip and all other nonsense and let ourselves to be used as pawn against each other...we derail the train very time we proclaim our libery in the timesquare our liberation is God given and begin in our hearts. fighting is not the issue but how the fight is
fought that matters.as for the label "tramp" "it's not important what ur called, it what u answer to"

Idemili said...

@Kpakpando: I have always said this: "Men say they hate a woman who plays games but the truth is, they hate it when they KNOW a game is being played." Otherwise, they couldn't care less.

I guess that's what you're saying and it is too true.

laspapi said...

Idemili,
thanks for stopping by. Unforgiving? No, I don't think so. The same way I've given philandering men tags in the series is the way I addressed this. There are tramps out there of both sexes. Women are just a bit more sensitive about being tagged than men are.

@ anon- thanks for stopping by, thanks for the compliment. Glad you find me constant.

@ ~mimi~ - I've written on the "male-tramp" in the series, many times. "In the lair of the wolf", "The domestic boxer" and "king solomon's disease" are topics on male tramps and psychos.

You're sharp-eyed, ~mimi~, send in your submissions.

@ c'est moi- I agree with you that "Tramp is an androgenous term and applies to both sexes."

@ a tramp- You're saying "good girls go to heaven and bad girls go everywhere?"

@ ijeoma- thanks for stopping by and participating in the discussion.

@kpakpando- "Girl Whisperer,
I've said this before and I still maintain that I think men like being lied to" -
You're on the wrong tack here,I'm not a misogynist and don't enjoy pulling women down, but just like the bad men I often write about, we have really "bad" women.

@ sherri- the Whisperer's been there (around the block 2ce) and done (all) that. Nothing to prove to anyone anymore or even to myself. Men are freely called dogs, let's call a tramp a tramp.

@ waffy and refinedone- since you ladies are contemplating tea parties, I feel no need to intervene.

DeChief said...

While I do accept that there are many MALES that do not act as of old (or as they should), trumping their third appendage like it were a license to debauchery and lasciviousness; but there is an on-going debate if these can be called MEN.

"WAFFARIAN" - this is the simplest question you will probably be asked about this topic - and it has the potential to jolt you from the land of the grey, mist into the glittering sunshine of truth.
Here we go (please answer as simply as I ask):

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE THE SAME AS HE IS TO BE EQUAL TO A MAN?

Why are you not asking why there are more men in the Sciences than women?
Why are you not asking why men's 100meter world record is many seconds faster than that of women?

Why are you not asking why many women are not climbing Everest?

Why are you OBSESSED with Sex only (as a proof of man's oppression?)

Answer these questions - and you will self-discover whether you are a Lady or otherwise.

Men are out there building the roads (I never saw a woman driving a Caterpillar); men are out there cutting the logs; men are out there braving the weather to bring the bacon home to grateful families....and here you are talking about carnal things.

Why does your campaign for female equality (which you confuse for sameness), have to end in immorality?

Anonymous said...

@dechief...what the heck are you on about. You obviously misunderstood waffarian.you are the one who is bringin it down to only sexuality. I suggest you read hat she rote properly as she made very valid points.

@laspapi. i agree with your post. There are tramps in both of the sexes.You've written about the male tramps before. It's good you also mentioned the female tramps as what is good for the goose should also be good for the gander. no be so? equality for the sexes. Keep em comin whisperer

DeChief said...

From Waffarian's post: ""...the woman is a "nymphomaniac", .. it might be the lure of a hard body, good sex,(where the woman's needs are taken care of), or just the excitement of having a different partner. ... in Nigeria we are too quick to call women "ashawo". ...single woman that has an active sex life, changes partners quite often...A woman who decides to have an active sex life should be allowed to do so.."

ANONYMOUS, you say she did not talk about Sex being the equalisation factor?
Are you mentally challenged? or you were just born this way?
I am not surprised that you choose not to reveal your name or origins.

My point stands; Waffarian is an immoral person who has a loose grip on the facts.

Waffarian said...

@dechief:did you read the argument at all? I am not arguing because of "sex", it is a statement I made that Refinedone did not agree with that sparked off the discussion. First of all, throughout the discussion, I never talked about the biological difference between
men and women neither did I question that difference.

Now to your questions,
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE THE SAME AS HE IS TO BE EQUAL TO A MAN?

Same? who talked about being the "same" as a man? I talked about equal rights.

Why are you not asking why there are more men in the Sciences than
women?

The society we live in does not provide the means, opportunities or encouragement for women in this area. Although there has been great improvement in recent years.

Why are you not asking why men's 100meter world record is many seconds faster than that of women?

It is many seconds faster because of the biological difference.Again, nobody here doubted that.

Why are you not asking why many women are not climbing Everest?

I am not asking why many women are not climbing mount everest because it is not relevant to this discussion.

Why are you OBSESSED with Sex only (as a proof of man's oppression?)

I am not obsessed with sex and in NO place in this discussion have I ever said that it is "a proof of man's oppression". I implore you to read my comments again.

"Men are out there building the roads (I never saw a woman driving a Caterpillar); men are out there cutting the logs; men are out there braving the weather to bring the bacon home to grateful families....and here you are talking about carnal things".

You never saw a woman drive a caterpillar? cut logs? women do not brave the weather to bring bacon home? Your life must be quite cozy if you've never seen this part of the world. The women you know, they do nothing? sit on beautiful couches and wait for their husbands to come home with the bacon? Hmmmmmm, that would be wonderful, really beautiful, unfortunately majority of women all over the world do not have that luxury.

Why does your campaign for female equality (which you confuse for sameness), have to end in immorality?

Dechief, again, nobody talked about sameness, you brought that up, so you must be the one confused here. Which campaign? Do you see any campaign going on here? This was a discussion between two women, a discussion not a campaign. Don't worry, I am sure that confused you as well.So from this discussion, you have concluded that it ended in immorality? You must be really confused.

Answer these questions - and you will self-discover whether you are a Lady or otherwise.

A lady or a tramp? I have answered your questions, and I am so sorry to inform you that no "self-discovery" took place. Your questions at the end of the day are inconsequential when it comes to such judgement(lady or tramp).


WAFFARIAN" - this is the simplest question you will probably be asked about this topic - and it has the potential to jolt you from the land of the grey, mist into the glittering sunshine of truth.


Dechief, you really thought those questions were intelligent and thought provoking? enough to "jolt" me? You thought so highly of those questions? That was the height of your genius? those questions? I implore you to analyse your intelligence again. They were supposed to jolt me "from the land of the grey, mist into the glittering sunshine of truth". Where did you get that line from? Dechief, next time please read properly before you attack with baseless accusations.

Waffarian said...

@dechief: hehehe, you took the parts you liked abi? you did not read it in its context, you just saw hard body, sex, nymphomaniac and your brain scattered? you could not controll yourself? Are you not an adult? Please go and take a bath or something my friend!

DeChief said...

Hear yourself Waffarian:
"...single woman that has an active sex life, changes partners quite often."

AND

"A woman who decides to have an active sex life should be allowed to do so.."

You are not ashamed to write that on the pulic Internet?

I know "waterside" men are not the best providers - in fact they are quite lazy (roaming about in their bicycles in an ogogoro haze all day while the ladies fish, farm and raise the kids).

But you do not represent them well - as you have been empowered to do here on this and such forums.

You reduce the debate to sex - and that is a shame and a loss for those that depend on you to bring their plight to the attention of the world.

Your immoral mindset distracts from your point (a good point it really is when properly stated); even one that I support.

I will help you and put it this way - MEN ought to be able to call themselves that by deeds rather than mere words - ESPECIALLY those Warri and Creek people.

Next time, think carefuly about the presentation and not just the substance of your point.

I rest my case by saying this - well done for highlighting the plights of our disadvanted ones - BUT buy a cleaner for your mind.

Waffarian said...

@dechief: I am surprised you are bringing "warri" and "waterside" into this discussion. This is what you, an educated man in 2007 says:

"I know "waterside" men are not the best providers - in fact they are quite lazy (roaming about in their bicycles in an ogogoro haze all day while the ladies fish, farm and raise the kids)"

"I will help you and put it this way - MEN ought to be able to call themselves that by deeds rather than mere words - ESPECIALLY those Warri and Creek people".


Why do you bring that into the discussion, how does it help your case? Dechief, there is no reason to make statements like that or you can not come up with something else to say? You start talking about stereotypes of tribes? I am not surprised, that is the level ignorant people normally descend to when words fail them.

Also, do not for a moment assume I do not know who you are, I am surprised that you and your wife believe yourselves to be so moral? You dare to come on this blog and call me immoral? I TALK about SEX, yes, on internet, that makes me immoral?

Dechief, you and your wife, you both amuse me, I wonder what is instigating such passionate responses. What has happened? Your responses suggest a serious psychological thing going on here. I really do not believe that my comment about sex is the issue here. I smell sex, betrayal and hypocrisy in the air.

Anonymous said...

@ waffarian, lol, I thought you and refinedone finished the discussion on amicable terms? so after she left, she sent her husband in? naija people! see pretender, hypocrite!LMAO

Anonymous said...

it looks as if the coments are more interesting then the tramp post. good work Mr. Whisperer, been there (all round the block) and done that. else, how else would you know so much about women to write about.

@waffarian, in another life, please be my big sister, we have the sae view and will always take our stand against mum and dad.

a woman is free to be what she wants. i believe that the reason a woman would sleep around is because she is looking for good sex. once she finds a partner who satisfies her every needs in bed, she will never look else where. it isn't about money becasue the cash cannot buy the sex and make her come all through.

@refinedone. what is your problem? as the whiperer said, tramps can be sent to pschologist. for a woman sleeping around to become a shrink issue, check her background and see the damages a man has done.
God bless R. Kelly only when he said, a no good woman was made bad by a no good man.

waffarian's sista

Kpakpando said...

chineke meee!!!! I sure hope dechief was in an ogogoro induced hazed when he came on to write this crap.

@ laspapi... please tell how one identifies a tramp, I still maintain that men don't want the truth from women (at least not when it comes to sex) they'd rather believe what they want to, than open their minds to the possibility of the truth

Anonymous said...

Anonymous june 5 3.59 said.
@dechief. you want to insult me because i asked you to read waffarians post again. You said i am mentally challenged. OK remember I didn't start the insults. YOU DID. So here it goes...YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY A BIG FOOL!!! Haba see the level of your thinking. From your more recent responses you are exposing your gross ignorance. I suggest you stop writing here because your foolishness is becoming overwhelming.So I sign in as anonymous...is your name De chief?Oloshi. See you insulting waterside men and creek people...what a fool you must be for saying such rubbish. you have exposed the kind of man you are and I truly pity any woman who unfortunately ends up with you.

Anonymous said...

@Laspapi..I'm sorry but dechief really got me rattled over nothin g. i wont write any insults in your comments section anymore

laspapi said...

anon- you're always welcome here, being one of my all-time favourite commentators. And yes, "I've rogued and raged in my time".

@ kpakpando- men do not enjoy being lied to. They're just not physiognomically (hope I got that) capable of handling that kind of truth. It's a major difference between both sexes. As long as you live on this planet, even you, fiery defender of the rights of "woman", must accept that there are some issues men will refuse to process. Double standards? I'm afraid so.

ps. I like your blog.

@ dechief- I am displeased with the personal tone the discussion took.

Of note is-

(1) the referral to the waffarian as "an immoral person"

(2)"I know 'waterside' men are not the best providers - in fact they are quite lazy (roaming about in their bicycles in an ogogoro haze all day while the ladies fish, farm and raise the kids)".

(3) MEN ought to be able to call themselves that by deeds rather than mere words - ESPECIALLY those Warri and Creek people.

I refrained from intervening in the discussion between refinedone and waffarian because they kept the heated exchange civil.

I cannot imagine the labelling of any Nigerian tribe with such derogatory terms and I am unhappy this took place on my blog.

I was at the finals of West African Idols where the judge, Dede, kept harping that the two finalists were from the Niger Delta. This as far as I knew was irrelevant to the issue at hand and I made that known in my writings. I feel the same way now and am of the mind-set that my blog hs been disrespected.

I would have taken offence if someone had labelled the South Western tribes of Nigeria (where I come from) with such tags.

Waffarian has asked the offensive references to Warri and the waterside people of the creeks be left on the blog. I shall oblige her.

dechief said...

@ Waffarian,I apologies about my refference to Warri and Creek people off Nigeria, It was not ment to offend. I will not go further to say why I used such description.

@ Laspapi, I guess I let the “debate” get too far, no disrespect to your bit of space in the blog world.

Hope this matter can be put to rest now like the adults we are.

laspapi said...

dechief, thank you for the display of maturity.

Anonymous said...

@dechief, I noticed you did not apologise for calling waffarian "an immoral person".