When Old Sins Have Long Shadows

I was 'friends' with an undergrad when I was studying for a post-grad degree. I'd go to her room and sometimes meet her room-mate, older than her and her senior at the faculty. Years later, while driving, I saw this room-mate at a bus-stop. 'Old friend', I thought, first waving and then stopping the car to say hi, maybe give a ride. She had been standing talking to someone. I'd noticed an odd look on her face as my car slowed and she'd given a tentative wave back, the kind you keep for nuisances, (You all know that look), but I'd refused to accept it was for me.

So I stopped car, and looked for her. She'd disappeared, companion and all, and she didn't get on a bus or public transport, just 'vanished, transported, utterly transmuted' (courtesy- The politician in The Trials Of Brother Jero). Apparently, she didn't need a ride. My enthusiasm on meeting her had been based on my relationship with the ex, an old favourite, and the fact that she herself had been a friend of sorts then, certainly not someone you'd see later, who'd do a runner upon seeing you.

Apparently, she had no need to re-aquaint herself and I went my way. Fast-forward a few more years. Phone rings and laspapi picks up. It's a female voice saying "I'm from Aunt so & so, (a juggernaut and person of influence in the industry laspapi plays in). She says you're organizing "A Season Of Soyinka" and that I might be of use to you in so & so area". I say, "ok, come in to see me".

She does so the next day and it's the bus-stop girl. I tell her, 'I know you'. She feigns ignorance. 'You do?'. So I go through the charade of telling her who her roomie was and she recollects. "Oh, oh, oh, so very very good to see you"

laspapi: yeah, me too. I stopped to say hello to you at a bus-stop once and you took off

b-s.g: Me?

laspapi: yeah

b-s.g: something must have happened

laspapi: (thinking to self) yeah, the rapture. However, the angel took one look at your face on his way up and lost his grip

b-s.g: I hope the way I behaved won't affect my chances

laspapi: nah, nah. I'll call you if I need you.

(I lied)

The following year, my phone rings again.

b-s.g: it's me, again

laspapi: yeah?

b.s-g: I hear you're directing the monologues. I can be of help.

laspapi: sorry.

So now it's getting to be a pattern. I differ from her, slightly, here. If I do not like you, I will not try to work/play with you.

However, I'm wondering how many things have passed me by because of some wrong whether real or imagined, I might have done someone else eons ago; how many things, big or small, are hinged on an impression, a rash word, a hasty reaction...Old sins have long shadows.

laspapi's philosophy- as much as possible, live peaceably with all men.

Still, this is for those I haven't paid back yet. I'm gonna get you.

If you want to preach at me, go write your own post.