Sunday, August 05, 2007

The Girl Whisperer

by laspapi

as published by the Sunday Guardian

of August 5

The Dream Snatchers

If you want to distract a man with a dream, give him a second dream- Mike Murdoch.
Many of us are born with dreams and aspirations and a burning desire to make these things come to pass in life. Along life’s path, many things come to push our aspirations to the back of our minds. It might be a father who wants a child to study medicine when the child would rather be a dancer, or a mother who thinks you’d be better off marrying a rich but insensitive man. It could be the older brother who tells you, the song you wrote will never be a hit (as Dido’s did when she first wrote the hit song, “Thank you”). It might even be the economics, insecurity and poverty of an entire continent that forces you to relocate and leave your hopes and plans behind, when you’d rather be taking a stroll side by side with the friends of your youth, along the roads you grew up walking on.

For a few, they are able to hold on to their dreams until adulthood, walking the path they have always wanted, content and happy with the world, until they meet a dream snatcher.
Often, those who lose dreams to others do not realize there is a process underway until it is too late. We must watch out for the mate who compels the other to pick up a banking job or a 9 to 5 because it is more ‘realistic’ and is much more dependable than painting or picking up photography, and the friend who says “get real, people don’t always get what they want”.

One must remember, however, that a human being is nothing without dreams and the very essence of life is made up of aspirations and hopes. When these are taken from us, there is very little left to give satisfaction.

As a member of a fellowship in my University days, I was told by someone I highly respected (and still do) and who was in a position of authority over me at the time, that my regular attendance of programmes at the “Pit Theatre” (The name for the University’s drama department) was wrong and ungodly. Though I was a student in the law faculty, I found immense satisfaction in watching stage plays and immersing myself in the world that was offered by the drama students.
I pondered on his words trying to make sense of them but chose to ignore his advice and instead continued with what gave me satisfaction. It wasn’t pleasing to him but it was singularly the most important decision I took career-wise at that point in time. Today, even as a lawyer, the theatre is my home and I, myself have become a strong practitioner of this art.

The dream snatcher will rarely come in the guise of an enemy. Often, this person is a loved one, a friend, a trusted and close confidant, and the advice offered is not given with malice or any sinister motives.
The only problem with this advice and a flaw too fundamental to be ignored, is that the dream snatcher tries to make you live his or her dream without knowing it. We should resist the attempt to live the blue-print of the lives of others as it might be the difference between living a life of content or one where we go through life as a routine, finding no pleasure in the things we do.

There are many people who have been tied to mates, jobs and careers they have no interest in, for many, many years. Unfortunately, like the Robert Frost poem goes, “road leads on to road” and after a while, they are unable to return to the point where they first took a turn on the path that killed their aspirations. The inability to retrace steps is a sad one and strikes one of the strongest blows against the human spirit.

We all, must guard our dreams with all the strength we have because life can be beautiful when you’re doing exactly what you’ve always wanted to do. The sun shines warmly on those who follow their hearts.


Frances Uku said...

my absolute favourite of all your posts in this series. thank you, wole.

Anonymous said...

No wonder 'tis important to have a proper understanding of what one's dream(s) is, to be able to run with it. As such, what people can do is simply to advise (if sought) are different ways to achieving the dream(s).
Rather than all them to snatch (or confuse)ones dream(s).

Idemili said...

Too disturbing. I don't know whether to thank you or kick you.

Oh, sorry for breathing down your nect about the update.

laspapi said...

@ f.u.-Thank you, frances. I'm glad you liked it.

@ rethots- I guess we're saying the same thing, rethots.

@idemili- Thank me, idemili,

And yes. I knew the goddess commanded the whisperer.

Thirty + said...

The euphoria of being on the stage, the energy that emanates from the characters, the enthrallment of the audience as momentarily their reality is the scenes unravelling before them, the expectation as they wait for the last curtain draw and the satisfaction as the actor/actress knows you are spent and you have delivered what the director asked....(where did it go?)

OH LASPAPI YOU STRIKE A CORD, One more time ...Lord

Anyway back to UK in front of my PC, consultant on duty. @Lasp which uni did you attend.

Aijay said...

"The sun shines warmly on those who follow their hearts."
Thats so true. Nice post.

Anonymous said...

The problem is, for many people when it is time to make a dream a reality, we often find other reasons not to. Sometimes, we even find other "dreams" as reasons why we should not actualize our dreams. So you see, even in the world of dreams, a dream can be of more importance than other dreams, depending on who's the dreamer!

laspapi said...

I do not recall having seen the theatre feeling described better than you did. That was really good. I graduated from Ife's law faculty, 2 Masters' from Unilag. We know each other.

@ aijay- thank you very much, aijay.

@ anon- I see your point. Still, we're talking of that one dream, that major driving force of one's life. Can any dream be bigger than that?

Anonymous said...

resonates with me and lots of people i know!!
i often describe it as the gnawing feeling of a path not taken...

Noni Moss said...

OH WOW - I agree with Frances Uku - this is my favourite and it soo strikes a cord. :-) More than anything I mourn the loss of my dreams and the motivation to find it.

laspapi said...

@ sherri- I know what you mean.

@ noni moss- "the motivation to find it", noni? You can light the fire again, can't you?

@ 30+ The last line was meant to be a question. Do we know each other?

Anonymous said...

I think those who have had a chance to follow their dreams are lucky indeed,a lot of people do not have the liberty of dreaming, they are too busy trying to survive.For a lot of people, the "driving force" is staying alive.

I guess you are one of the lucky ones, laspapi!

For the love of me said...

Nice post. I lost mine. maybe someday I would find it again.

Babawilly said...

Quite interesting and true.

Will watch out for updates

Anonymous said...

Thanks for this Papi

laspapi said...

@ anon- I feel blessed, anon. The path is sometimes strewn with thorns, but the scents of the roses growing on the wall keep me moving.

@ for the love of me- you can find it. I believe you can.

@ babawilly- thanks.

@ anon- thank you, anon.

Anonymous said...

i know i dream,i just don't remember them.

Unknown said...

thank u
thank u so much for this post....

laspapi said...

@ anon- you have to hold on to your dreams.

@ my stories- I'm glad you like it. That gives me great pleasure.