Monday, July 23, 2007

The Girl Whisperer

as published by the Sunday Guardian

July 22, 2007

Beware of Dog

Every time we approach the main gates of a strange house and we see that sign warning us of the presence of a carnivorous and probably savage animal, we reduce our pace, peer very carefully over the gates and shout out to anyone who approaches, “Is the dog chained?”, “Is it ok to come in?”, “Should I stay outside?”

For some reason, people (and now, I speak of male and female) find it easier to ask questions about animals than of human beings they intend to liase with. For the purposes of clarification, there is a certain set type of man who would consider being called a dog, a compliment. He thinks mostly of the pursuit and after the thrill of the hunt is over, he looks for fresh frontiers to surmount. This one sows wild oats on Saturday night and prays for crop failure on Sunday morning. This “dog” believes life is short and the world is his oyster as well as the entire tribe called “woman”. It’s a free world, some men will probably say, and as adult females, no one is led by the nose to make any decisions of the heart, so you must live by what you allow. Perhaps.

Much the same way some people recklessly pour fuel into generators without switching the machines off first, as if they possess death wishes, is the way some females enter relationships with men who are notorious for loving and leaving, without checking to see that they have mended their ways.

The true “dog” rarely hides his nature and will declare the limitations of his fidelity to you from the beginning. Like the Paul Young song, he says to his women, “By the look in your eye, I can tell you’re going to cry, Is it over me? If it is, save your tears ’cause I’m not worth it you see”.

Now, we know some people like to live dangerously, but why enter a relationship you’ve been warned may go awry? We would consider insane, anyone who went nonchalantly into a house with a dog-warning sign, and then complained of dog bites. Yet when it comes to man-matters, we sometimes take no heed of warning signals and then complain of being savaged.

There are many men out there who think staying with just one woman is an ailment and they do not hide their credo. They operate as if women have “sell-by dates” and continuously trade-in women for newer models much the same way some exchange their cars for the latest updates. For this reason, the discerning female must learn to query situations and look before she waltzes through a courtyard and a situation that might end up in her getting chewed to ribbons. “Is the dog tied up?”, “Is the chain strong enough?” “Has the dog left its wild ways?”

There is a certain breed of dog you don’t play with, even if it’s tied up and locked up in a cage. You eye the Rottweiller warily, knowing that mistakes might cost you your good health and peace of mind. It’s the same way you peer suspiciously at a basket that holds a snake. Women would do good to know that there are men who are like these too and that the damage some mistakes do to your psyche cannot be corrected.

Often in courtship, rules are made up between the parties as the relationship progresses. It’s a good idea to have a few of your own as you contemplate entering into an affair of the heart. There’s an African proverb that says, “Only a fool tests the depths of water with both feet”. Don’t be a fool. You’ll probably live a long while to regret rash actions.

Next Week: In Search of The Thoroughbred


Idemili said...

*Sigh of relief* Most women ignore the signs the same way that horse whisperers ignore the fact that wild horses could shatter their skulls.

Women hope that they can finally, ins spite of all warnings by said man-dog, be the one to tame him, to keep him, where other finer/more successful/richer women have failed. It's a kind of personal achievement, whose roots are grounded in self-hatred.

If you loved yourself, you would realise the futility of such a mission, jump ship and swim for dear life. N'cest pas?

Anonymous said...

…entering into the compound,
didn’t bother watching out for the
dogs (maybe, ‘cos ‘m used to my brother’s)
until they attacked, whoa, I was stunned.
Relationships, could pretty be same.
However, a lady once describe
‘love’ as a descision.
This, i think is a fantastic definition;
in essence, to make a relationship work,
there has to be a conscious effort.

Noni Moss said...

Am i the first one to comment? :-D Probably not.

I like this - I am a firm believer in women doing their homework before shacking up with someone. Ignorance is no longer an excuse! (especially when you see the warning signs)

Anonymous said...

word to the wise heh?
would there be dogs if the females are wary and refuse to be prey? can we then logically deduce that, the females have created the dogs?

flawsandall said...

nice one...It so sad that a lot of girls a get entangled into such foolishness. I think sometimes girls who go in to such relationships think they can change the man.Just like the men get a thrill by hopping from one bed to the other, most girls even if they dont know it love relationships that put them on the edge. relationships that make them worry and put them at unease. Let them meet a guy thats faithful and caring.they'll tell you that there is no challenge in the other words he is to nice.

Eyin'ju Oluwa said...

Nice food for thot Laspapiscosco.

laspapi said...

@ idemili- spot on, goddess. yes, sometimes, even whisperers ignore the fact that not all they come across are thoroughbred.

"roots grounded in self-hatred"- someday, I'll make that a topic at a seminar.

Thought-provoking, ide...

@ rethots- always watch the dog, no sudden movement, speak in even steady tones and calculate an escape route if necessary.

@ noni moss- both sides should know themselves fully, I reckon, noni. Men too don't want to find they've been fooled into dating bridezilla.

@ sherri- no, sherri, women aren't always the causes of these problems. Sometimes, a dog is just a dog. However, women should be wary. As should men. There are people passing themselves off all the time to be what they are not.

@ zephi- "most girls even if they dont know it love relationships that put them on the edge". This is true, zephi, but I speak as my kind of man, I hate relationships that are edgy and unbalanced. "Edgy" not to be mistaken for love, romance and 'zing'.

@ omosewa- you're a nice person, beautiful child, keep your eyes open.

Anonymous said...

Priceless piece, this!

Ms. Catwalq said...

Paul Young is smart. Who is that?
Nice right up. Se u r coming to this conclusion after years of dogging or bawo o?

My 2 cents said...

"By the look in your eye, I can tell you’re going to cry, Is it over me? If it is, save your tears ’cause I’m not worth it you see”.
Touche' Las papi!

I wish there is a man that can make this statement in a relationship. it does not become them at all.
I also to say that any man that fancies himself a dog, will feed on anything thrown at "it"! These scraps will include garbage, human waste and scum, because that is all "it" deserves.

I have learnt in my short expereience that a lot of women also ignore the "beware of dog" post to their detriment.
To each his own! Isn't funny Life is throwing HIV/Aids at the acclaimed "Dogs" that's the award for the loudest bark...

laspapi said...

@ aworan- thank you, akin

@ catwalq- "if I told you, cat, I would have to kill you"

@ my 2 cents- Strong points made, 2 cents, but in this world of equality, we always seem to think the man must be responsible for any damage done. I think there's a balance, women always victims

Refinedone said...

Papi, what about the dog that dresses himself like a human being with a heart?

and the the lady falls for him hook line and sinker only for him to reveale himself.


I am finding out about ppl that life is a very scary place... TRUST is not valued... and some ppl will say just what they know others want to here...

They deceive with sweet words... they say to you i am an opened book.. when they really are not!

so sad!!!

Karma! Karma!! ...what goes around comes around.

laspapi said...

@ refined one- Here I was thinking you were the preacher... ;P
Karma? What scripture's that...?
A point you should note- there are women who hide who they really are, their viciousness and real but very frightening personalities, when they think they've found an easy kill. Anyway, I'm an Arts blog. If I go on, I'll become "City People".