The Girl Whisperer

as published by the Sunday Guardian

July 22, 2007

Beware of Dog

Every time we approach the main gates of a strange house and we see that sign warning us of the presence of a carnivorous and probably savage animal, we reduce our pace, peer very carefully over the gates and shout out to anyone who approaches, “Is the dog chained?”, “Is it ok to come in?”, “Should I stay outside?”

For some reason, people (and now, I speak of male and female) find it easier to ask questions about animals than of human beings they intend to liase with. For the purposes of clarification, there is a certain set type of man who would consider being called a dog, a compliment. He thinks mostly of the pursuit and after the thrill of the hunt is over, he looks for fresh frontiers to surmount. This one sows wild oats on Saturday night and prays for crop failure on Sunday morning. This “dog” believes life is short and the world is his oyster as well as the entire tribe called “woman”. It’s a free world, some men will probably say, and as adult females, no one is led by the nose to make any decisions of the heart, so you must live by what you allow. Perhaps.

Much the same way some people recklessly pour fuel into generators without switching the machines off first, as if they possess death wishes, is the way some females enter relationships with men who are notorious for loving and leaving, without checking to see that they have mended their ways.

The true “dog” rarely hides his nature and will declare the limitations of his fidelity to you from the beginning. Like the Paul Young song, he says to his women, “By the look in your eye, I can tell you’re going to cry, Is it over me? If it is, save your tears ’cause I’m not worth it you see”.

Now, we know some people like to live dangerously, but why enter a relationship you’ve been warned may go awry? We would consider insane, anyone who went nonchalantly into a house with a dog-warning sign, and then complained of dog bites. Yet when it comes to man-matters, we sometimes take no heed of warning signals and then complain of being savaged.

There are many men out there who think staying with just one woman is an ailment and they do not hide their credo. They operate as if women have “sell-by dates” and continuously trade-in women for newer models much the same way some exchange their cars for the latest updates. For this reason, the discerning female must learn to query situations and look before she waltzes through a courtyard and a situation that might end up in her getting chewed to ribbons. “Is the dog tied up?”, “Is the chain strong enough?” “Has the dog left its wild ways?”

There is a certain breed of dog you don’t play with, even if it’s tied up and locked up in a cage. You eye the Rottweiller warily, knowing that mistakes might cost you your good health and peace of mind. It’s the same way you peer suspiciously at a basket that holds a snake. Women would do good to know that there are men who are like these too and that the damage some mistakes do to your psyche cannot be corrected.

Often in courtship, rules are made up between the parties as the relationship progresses. It’s a good idea to have a few of your own as you contemplate entering into an affair of the heart. There’s an African proverb that says, “Only a fool tests the depths of water with both feet”. Don’t be a fool. You’ll probably live a long while to regret rash actions.


Next Week: In Search of The Thoroughbred