Friday, January 19, 2007

The Deconstruction of Women (Was sent this by a friend and added the titles. It's crazy)


DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

40 ish..................................................49
Adventurous.........................................slept with everyone
Athletic................................................no breasts
Average looking....................................Moooooo
Beautiful..............................................Pathological liar
Emotionally secure...............................on medication
Feminist...............................................Fat and ugly
Free spirit.............................................Junkie
Friendship first.......................................former slut
New-Age...............................................hairy armpits
Open minded.........................................desperate
Outgoing................................................loud and embarassing
Professional...........................................bitch
Independent ..........................................lonely
Voluptuous.............................................fat
Large framed...........................................obese
Seeking soul mate...................................stalker


DECONSTRUCTING THE GRAMMAR OF WOMEN


Yes...............................................................no
No.................................................................yes
Maybe...........................................................no
We need........................................................I want
I am sorry......................................................you'll be sorry
We need to talk..............................................you're in deep trouble
I've been thinking.............................................I've decided
What if we......................................................I've decided
I'll think about it...............................................I've decided. Definitely not
Sure, go ahead...............................................you'd better not
Do you want...................................................you'll pay for that later
I am not upset ................................................of course I'm upset, moron.



DECONSTRUCTING THE GRAMMAR OF MEN

I'm hungry................................................................i'm hungry
I'm tired...................................................................i'm tired
Nice dress...............................................................nice cleavage
I love you.................................................................I'd like to have sex with you. NOW.
May I have this dance?...............................................I'd like to have sex with you later.
Like to go to a movie?................................................I'd like to have sex with you tonight.
Can I take you out to dinner?......................................I'll feed you,then we'll have sex.
I dont think those shoes go with that outfit.................I'm gay!

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Totally crazy.....my cheeks hurt from laughing so much....

But seriously most of the ones for the ladies aren't true.

The one's for the guys...thinking to self..lets not even go there..

LOL

Anonymous said...

My dear Professor of Women Affairs, I concur intoto!

laspapi said...

nilla, your nose just grew longer. You know the details about the women are accurate.

Men are from Mars...

Thank you, ileanujah.

Anonymous said...

lol.. you have a delicious sense of humour papi.. i've been laughing so hard here.. and the funiest part is that.. It's soo true(well the guy ones at least... lol.. don't mind me.. all of em are...)hehe... i even called my best friend and read em to her.. this was too funny

laspapi said...

glad you love those lines, Storm. It's amazing the difference in the way men and women think.

Araceli said...

Funny.

Thank God I'm not a feminist, and I went public with it.

Anonymous said...

Cute...interesting...Sometimes I think am not a woman....cos I says what I means....:)

omohemi Benson said...

What do you mean?
Talking about we geniuses like that! lol.

The ones about the guys is absolutely true.

Nice post. LOL!

laspapi said...

Ta, Araceli.

@ mamarita- There's an exception to every rule. Maybe you're the exception to this one.

@ Gald you like it, omohemi.

Mona said...

kai the ADS one was mean sha -- nothing nice about us...

laspapi said...

For fear of being called misogynist, Mona, I'll have to disagree.

mimi said...

thats friggin gangsta, i dont even know what to say, okay, very witty..lol