Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Blast(ing) from the past(ing)

When I was 13 or so, I was invited to a party by a friend. The hostess was Rosemary, a girl of about my age whom I had a huge crush on. So off I went in my bell-botteomed jeans (I do not recollect if I had a denim waist-coat on). When we stepped into the party and Rosemary saw me, she beamed a wide, beautiful smile of welcome, and told me, "Why don't you sit down there? Someone your size will come in soon". It took me a while to get over that. I lacked height at that age sha, and didn't start elongating till I was about 15. Still, what kind of put down was that, made all the worse because it wasn't said with malice?

My father once caught me pawing at a female at age 14 or so. I was fully clothed but it was on our kitchen floor, a very undignified position to be viewed by the pater familias. He looked at me and went back shutting the door behind him and never breathed a word of it. Needless to say, passion died that day.

My first real (not that we ever got physical) girlfriend, Aminat. called me up while I was playing cards with my brother and cousins. "laspapi, are we going out (having a relationship)?". "Of course, we are", I replied, put the phone down and returned to the cards and my first relationship was born.

When I was 17, I received a letter from a girl who liked me. Florence, her name was, she must have been 15 or so and ugly as sin (ok, I was shallow. I still have my shallow moments). The note read- "As deep of(sic) an ocean, so is my love for you. If I need you, will you come to me? You're the flower in my ganden(sic),the honey in....etc" I remember that letter because my older brother, jinta, will never let me forget it.

21 comments:

Isi said...

LMAO!!!!!!
i had a crush on this fine guy long time ago. one day, he tells me he'd like to see me privately. i was over the moon becos we had never spoken prior to this time, i only made the effort to look exceptionally beautiful whenever i vist his domain, hoping that would trigger something inside of him.
finally we meet, under a full moon with the soft breeze carressing me and fuelling my desire.
he now says, in the sexiest of voices, "my friend really likes you, but he's so shy. please give him a chance..."
looking at his friend the next day, i almost cried. he was nothing like the 'prince charming'. lol!!!!

CATWALQ a.k.a LAGBA-JESS said...

laspapi the flower in the garden?
lol
wait, let me pick up my spleen. I dislodged it while laughing

Mrs Somebody said...

Laspapi what's been happening to you?Are you trying to tell us something?
Is romance in the air?
Friday nights are football nights I know.....but how 'bout other nights?
Surely from this post and the last one,something's up and it's not 'the trials of bro.jero'.

Idemili said...

Titter! Titter!

Sherri said...

lol..
just wondering o would ur popsie have reacted the same way if it was ur sister being pawed?

Nneka's World said...

OMG!!!!
I am crying with laughter here, especially the
"sit down here someone your size would soon come"
Hahahahaha!!!! Classic

The letters, everyone recieved them, men... brings back memories

Toks- Boy said...

Ah ha! I could see there was a bit of the playboy, bon vivant about you when we met. Mr Love them and leave them. "Someone your size...." God that's funny. I hope she at least whispered it in your ear (while bending down obviously) to spare your blushes?

laspapi said...

@ isi- It's not who you love, isi, it's who loves you. We've all learnt this the hard way.

@ catwa'q- I wasn't always perfect, love. I had my period of formation ;P

@ mrs somebody- I don't know what you're talking about o! ok, I'll confess- its catwa'q I love but I wonder about that fiery spirit. Then there's Idemili who abandoned me...and then cheetarah who...

@ idemili- you better open your door before I lose my temper

@ sherri- very good question, sherri. I suspect he'd have killed the male factor.

@ nneka- That sentence was traumatic, believe me. It took me a long while to get over the fact that all the loving looks I'd felt she was giving me were actually looks of pity.

@ toks boy- "I love them and I leave them; break their hearts and deceive them, everywhere I go". I used to really like that Paul Young song. See, toks boy, you were the one who looked as if you'd just stepped off a page of GQ when we met. I don't think she bent to pronounce that death sentence. It was said in a normal tone of voice. I blushed.

Jinta said...

"My father once caught me pawing at a female at age 14 or so. I was fully clothed but it was on our kitchen floor, a very undignified position"

...you animal

Mona said...

hehehe laspaps dont kill me

ru for realllll

i can relate to that ur dad not uttering a word one cos it seems many guys have had the exact same thing happen to them n they always tell me hehe

nice :o)

CATWALQ a.k.a LAGBA-JESS said...

awwwwwwww.
isn't that cute.
why r u woandering about the spirit? Na im go make the whole thing sweeet jigbi jigbi

laspapi said...

@ jinta- Master...I was born a nice gentle boy who read comics and watched cartoons till you began to influence me in these matters

@ mona- I suppose all fathers want their sons to sow their wild oats. The sooner, the better

@ catwa'q- ah, sisi, when sun meets sun, everyt'ing goes nova; everyt'ing burns; scorched earth; no prisoners taken; no retreat, no surrender; no victor, no vanquished; the hard way, the only way etc.

You like my lines? Whispa me if you're smitten ;P

CATWALQ a.k.a LAGBA-JESS said...

I am not that good with poetry
much better with prose
Constructing sentences with words
is what my heart knows
The dancing suns I imagine
a delight I am sure it will be
but when the fire's over
what will be left of me?

laspapi said...

There can be no guarantees
when the whisperer deigns to speak
There will be no assurances
if we unravel the mystique

Even though with you
deep calls unto deep
And I touch your face
always, as I sleep

But how can you, star walker
who has lived a thousand years, pass over a chance for beauty
because you fear the fear of tears?

The universe may burn
and the planets derailed
but if you are the chosen
you will stand unscathed

CATWALQ a.k.a LAGBA-JESS said...

The words are like music
caressing my ears
And for just a split second
I forget my fear of tears
Then just as sure as a cancer
the sound of her voice grows
she tries to shout of a horrid pain
that only her heart knows.

rethots said...

what do you want with me?
I thot we are friends...

Lola said...

ah!!!!!!! there's some serious serious somethings going on here o! lol...

before i waka out let me just say hi laspipi!

laspapi said...

Catwa'q- my ISP's playing up, disturbing my access. A temporary hitch. The last poem had me searching for hidden meanings.

@ rethots- what'd I do?

@ lola- it looks serious, huh? How have you been?

CATWALQ a.k.a LAGBA-JESS said...

I thought that was the whole point....
but like i said, i am more prose than poetry so maybe I went off on a tangent

laspapi said...

THE WHISPERER

My words are my strength
falling like soft rain
on hot parched earth
they ease or cause pain
with every breath

My strength is in my words
my gift from Him, above
stronger than any flood
and able to birth or kill love

Therefore.
listen to my heartbeat
you who know my whole name
and listen for my bare feet
as I walk through Howard's plains

The wolf cubs will bay the moon/
as I draw nearer to you/
warning of danger in their maddening tune/
but you be judge of what and who is true/

CATWALQ a.k.a LAGBA-JESS said...

The case presented
The verdict passed
This woman's walk is slowing
So up to her you can catch