The Girl Whisperer
as published in the Sunday Guardian of May 27
KING SOLOMON’S DISEASE
What happens when a girl finally meets a man she thinks she might settle for, share the future with and very early in the relationship, he is making eyes at all other females who come his way? Her best friends, the girls who serve them in the restaurant and the shoe-shop, her cousins, the domestic help of the neighbours next door, anything in a skirt?
In this instance, you must be careful because what he has might be incurable.
The good King Solomon was reputed to be the wisest in the world but suffered from this disease the Whisperer has named after him; all the wealth in the world, incredible wisdom, and unfortunately for him, the power to command the attention of any woman he sought didn't help his situation. He was liberal, non-discriminating and he took a woman from every land and clime. By the time he stopped, he had a thousand women, all for the same purpose. That singularity in the pursuit of the opposite gender will prove to be one of Solomon’s longest lasting legacies, just like Bill Clinton and that famous blue dress.
Many men will tell you it is the default setting of every male. Yes, so is the urge to knock down every stranger who offends us. Man should not be ruled by his baser instincts, it is why he doesn’t pee on car tyres or mate at street corners like dogs do.
There are some men who look at women like visual artistes do, interested in their art form. Like the Whisperer, these ones see women, the way they look, reason and feel, as intriguing and worthy of study. You must learn to differentiate this sort from those who roam the fields, scavenging.
Once a man tells you, it is a natural instinct to sow his wild oats, (irrespective of whose field he plants his seed on) you know it’s time to move on. This brazen disclosure is a warning of what the future will be like. Some women have the mind-sets that there is no man on earth who is free of this disease. They say “men will be men” and advice is given to younger females to accept a man’s philandering as part and parcel of the total package of a relationship. There are therefore many men worldwide who are eating their cake and still holding on to it, who drink from strange springs during the day and then go home at night to lie next to their own gentle streams.
The opinion of the Whisperer? If a man will go berserk because another man is making eyes at his woman or he suspects there is a liaison between his woman and another, why do women have to accept this behaviour from their men? The problem with females in this regard however is not that they ask for too much but that they are usually willing to settle for too little.
Lay out the rules from the beginning and if he says he can’t eat “rice” every day for the rest of his life, tell him he must learn to garnish it in different ways. It will be less risky for both of you, and give rest of mind. A woman however, who thinks because she has finally gotten the man, has no need to keep him content on the home front is asking for trouble. Other’s will fulfil her duties on her behalf if she is negligent. It’s just the way of the world and a natural progression in the affairs of mankind.
As men and women who are embroiled in relationships with those who suffer from this ailment, we make excuses for them, struggling to keep hope alive. Your continuance in a relationship like that is the self-infliction of pain. Life is too short to add misery to your own circumstances.