Thursday, May 03, 2007


THE SOUL MATE
Is it possible to meet one person and know all your prayers have been answered? Should we pin our hopes, fears and aspirations on this one person? Expect the world of this person, forgetting his or her humanity and susceptibility to errors?

Do our expectations kill the very thing we love?

14 comments:

Refinedone said...

Answer very simply is YES! expectation is the killer of Love in relationships.

...as long one is whole, the other person should only be a complement not a complition(IMHO)

None of us are perfect and no partner or love interest should be put on a pedistal...cos when they fall form grace that could be deverstation, and healing becomes near to impossible ( if not by the grace of God)

... Preaching over, Laspapi what with the pic of Abani? are you trying to tell us something :)

R said...

I think that it would kill ME if someone else pinned all their hopes fears and aspirations on me. Too much pressure. I don't think I could cope.

I don't deal with being put on a pedestal well. I'm stiff with the dread of being found out for what I am and being knocked rudely off just when I am getting comfortable. So, what do I do? I take a deep breath, jump and crash. I figure that way at least I'm in control of the moment when I get off the pedestal.

Crazy, I know, but there it is.

Naija Vixen said...

Yes oh,we know we shuldnt expect the WHOLE world from ONE person...but we still end up doing it,all of us...cos maybe sumwhere in our deep recesses,we wont them to prove us wrong.

laspapi said...

@ refinedone- "the other person is a compliment, not a completion"- is this applicable always?
Isn't it possible to meet your completion?
The Agbani picture- it was just good to the eye. Pleasant female

@ r- "the dread of being found out for what I am and being knocked rudely off..." The desiderata says we have a right to be where we are or placed. I agree, rombo. learn not to jump.
Its ok sometimes to be the one looked to, I think.

@ vixen- its a human trait, vixen. Sometimes we get it right, often not.

Mamarita said...

Personally, I feel that the love in itself absorbs the imperfections - errors and worth not, and makes the object of our love, more deserving of the love.

I believe that love in itself is like a drug, it deludes us into seeing the things we lack in another. Someone once told me that we used to have 4 legs and arms, and a full heart, but we had no aim in life, and so we were divided up into halves, our mission being to find the other half of ourselves. That which completes us and work towards being perfect together.
Silly yes, but do I believe it, ABSOLUTELY.

Anonymous said...

Such a tough subject...(sigh). Refinedone....I totally agree....the expectation kills it all.

laspapi said...

I like your philosophy, mamarita.

@ anon- I see you've given the matter much thought in times past

Anonymous said...

Laspapi,
I'm just a realist. One is only sure of one's self. Realizing that we're all human takes the ease of such pressures for me.

I wouldn't say I've given it much thought in times past but I've been faced with a familiar situation.
I've learned that Prince charming isn't going to save me from the big bad bear wolf. One man isn't going to take away my blemishes....and I totally agree that imperfections are innate.

It boils down to choices and that's why we should all be thankful for free will.

Waffarian said...

Yes, I think expectations really kills a relationship. Soemtimes, we as human beings forget to just be, enjoy the moment together, instead we are fooled by the promise of something bigger, coming soon. To have expectations put on one is a heavy burden, you are now concerned with "delivering" so your partner will be satisfied, forgetting that with each new day, a different expectation is borne.

Kiibaati said...

Is it possible to meet one person and know all your prayers have been answered? YES

Should we pin our hopes, fears and aspirations on this one person? IT HAS TO BE ALL OR NOTHING

Expect the world of this person, forgetting his or her humanity and susceptibility to errors? WE FORGET BY CHOICE

Do our expectations kill the very thing we love? NO, IT MAKES US GROW TILL WE ARE READY TO SEE HER THE WAY SHE IS AND STILL WANT HER

laspapi said...

You seem to know what you're saying, kiibaati

mimi said...

hi there

laspapi said...

hello mimi, how've you been?

Refinedone said...

@Laspapi, IMHO I dont believe one can complete another, you are just setting yourself up for a massive fall or should I say heart ache.
...there again it may depend on what you call completion?
The coming together in a relationship is when as the saying goes "one hand washes the other both hands get clean"