Thursday, February 01, 2007

A Dictionary of Male Phrases!

"I'M GOING FISHING"
Translated: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and
stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete
safety."

"IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with
it and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated: "I have no idea how it works."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD"
Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR"
Translated: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS"
Translated: "I remember the theme song to "C.I.5-The Professionals", the address
of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of
every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES"
Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"OH, DON'T FUSS-I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL"
Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to
death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING"
Translated: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I CAN'T FIND IT"
Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm
completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU"
Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and
am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend
the next three days yelling at me."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC"
Translated: "Oh, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm
starving."

"I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE"
Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."

3 comments:

mimi said...

yay, me first,that is soooo friggin' crayzay

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

lmao.. that was hilarious.. and sooo true!

laspapi said...

It's the way of a man with a maiden...