This was sent me by Jahman, Editor of the Guardian on Sunday
LETTER OF COMPLAINT FROM A CUBAN TO A HOTEL MANAGER IN ORLANDO
Dier Senior Gerente Jotel:
Now I am tell yu di story jau I was treated at yor jotel.
I cum from miami florida as touris to orlando and estay at yor jotel.
When I cum in my room I see der is no shit in my bed.
How can I sleep with no shit in my bed?
Ay col down de ricepchon and tell dem: -"I wanna shit".
Dey tell me "Go to the toilet".. I sey "No, no, I wanna shit in my
Dey sey "You betta not shit in yor bed, you sonnawabitch".
What is that of sonnawabitch?.
I go down for di restoran for breikfast.
I order beicon and eggs and two pisses of toast, I getta only one
piss of toast. I tell di waitress and I points to toast.
"I wanna piss". She tella me Go to the toilet"...
I say "No, No, I wanna piss on my plate".
She den say to me: "You piss on yor plate, I col da cops, you
Secon person who don even know me, and chi col me sonnawabitch!
What is that of sonnawabitch?
So I go to di ricepchon and ask for di bil.
I no wanna stay in dis jotel no more. When I have pay di bil, the
porter say to me: "Thank you and piss be with you".
I say "piss on you too, you sonnawabitch!
"If I go back to orlando , I'll never more comma stay in your jotel,
(Juan Torres Delano)