Friday, February 23, 2007

This was sent me by Jahman, Editor of the Guardian on Sunday

LETTER OF COMPLAINT FROM A CUBAN TO A HOTEL MANAGER IN ORLANDO


Dier Senior Gerente Jotel:

Now I am tell yu di story jau I was treated at yor jotel.
I cum from miami florida as touris to orlando and estay at yor jotel.
When I cum in my room I see der is no shit in my bed.
How can I sleep with no shit in my bed?
Ay col down de ricepchon and tell dem: -"I wanna shit".
Dey tell me "Go to the toilet".. I sey "No, no, I wanna shit in my
bed".

Dey sey "You betta not shit in yor bed, you sonnawabitch".

What is that of sonnawabitch?.
I go down for di restoran for breikfast.
I order beicon and eggs and two pisses of toast, I getta only one
piss of toast. I tell di waitress and I points to toast.
"I wanna piss". She tella me Go to the toilet"...
I say "No, No, I wanna piss on my plate".
She den say to me: "You piss on yor plate, I col da cops, you
sonnawabitch".

Secon person who don even know me, and chi col me sonnawabitch!
What is that of sonnawabitch?

So I go to di ricepchon and ask for di bil.
I no wanna stay in dis jotel no more. When I have pay di bil, the
porter say to me: "Thank you and piss be with you".
I say "piss on you too, you sonnawabitch!
"If I go back to orlando , I'll never more comma stay in your jotel,
you sonnawabitch.

Sinsirly,
John Towers
(Juan Torres Delano)

3 comments:

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

lmao.. that's bloody hilarious...

Mrs Somebody said...

hahahaha...........i heard this from one of those 'Mr Nigeriaworld 'contestants during the show on stv and he said it just the way Al Pacino would and it infact won Him the 'best talent' warrever.........but reading it here again was quite refreshing.

mack said...

oh my ribs..